Kelly and Brian
Dear 100hookup,
A little over six years ago, I joined 100hookup in hopes of meeting someone special. I was contacted by a guy named Brian who seemed nice and lived nearby; however, he was in a band and the group was planning a move to Florida. I spoke with him on the phone but decided it wasn’t worth meeting since he was leaving town in the near future.
After giving dating a shot on my own with little success, I rejoined 100hookup a couple of years ago and received a message from Brian. A long time had passed and I didn’t even remember him! Talk about persistence…Again, I thought he was attractive and he seemed like a nice guy, so I responded. Since I prefer talking over typing, I told him to give me a call. His “rockstar” lifestyle was behind him and he was more settled – living here in Chicago with no plans to move, with a job and a place of his own. The conversation was great and we met the next day for brunch. That’s when Brian told me he had contacted me in the past, but I had turned him down.
We spent some time laughing about it and the rest of the day getting to know each other. Little did we know that day would be our last “first” date. Six months after meeting, Brian proposed. We were married on January 31st.
What makes this story even more amazing is the arrival of our daughter, Hannah Isabel, who was born this year on June 26, 2009.
Sincerely,
Kelly & Brian
Chicago, Illinois
Email this post
Loading ...
Beautiful! Thanks for submitting your story. Not only is it lovely, but it’s also an ispiration to us hookup singles, still looking for our besherets. I hope you guys have all the nachas in the world.
I don’t think it does give us singles hope. It just reinforces the fact that attractive girls will only settle for what they consider to be attractive looking guys. This is why so many guys are still single. The girls are far too picky!
Re: Tom
I consider myself to be attractive and quite frankly, while I have to have chemistry with my partner, I don’t care whether someone is attractive or not. I care FAR more about everything else than what’s on the outside.
Hey Tom,
I live in Israel, where guys have a hard time forming serious relationships & moving to the next stage in life.
I actually find that the guys are the ones using the pickiness factor, as an excuse. I have dated men, my sister would call unattractive by any definition, but whom I connected with.
Like Becky said, looks isn’t the most important thing for us gals. When you have a spark with someone, they are the most beautiful to you.
If that’s the case, Sharon and Becky, how come you don’t see any average looking guys in 100hookup success stories with attractive women. All the men in the 100hookup success stories with attractive women are good looking!
At least it gives guys the green light to pursue ladies who have rejected them in the past on 100hookup, as what previously happened to Brian with Kelly, as long as the ladies don’t block them! I have tried Brin’s method countless times but it hasn’t worked for me, as the ladies in question have been too stubborn. I wish there more ladies like Kelly who change their mind, as too many ladies change their mind the other way!
Hi Tom
First off you probably look for attractive women and if you don’t admit it then you are probably lying. I have dated guys who are not very attractive and even married one. I left my unattractive husband because he was not a good person. I just find that attractive ones simply don’t feel the need to settle down early on. Unattractive one’s are frequently more desperate when it comes to relationships but are frequently no bargain when it comes to good character. I find guys in general have been too entitled. When I reject guys from 100hookup it’s because that entitled attitude usually becomes quite apparent before I ever meet them. I am very picky but it’s mostly about good character. Before you judge girls for being too picky you should look into yourself and think about if you always have been respectful of women. Secondly, are you willing to give and take in a relationship? Most guys I find are very demanding and unwilling to give much of anything. Secondly, you want attractive girls so can you blame girls for wanting the same? If your looks are a problem try to do your best to look your best. Go to a gym if you haven’t been going. Make sure you have good posture. The last thing I said goes a long way.
Btw in case I wasn’t clear about this in my last post attractive guys are not any better than unattractive ones.
Amber yes of course I go for attractive women. I don’t think my looks, character or posture are the problem! I just find that attractive looking women won’t give me a go in the first place! They often say yes after staying a long time with me on the first date and then smile and agree to a second date after I have asked them in person at the end of the first date. They even say for me to call them. However, when the time comes to arrange the second date they have completely changed their tune although I have been friendly and respectful to them. I am definitely willing to give and take in a relationship, if only I could be given the chance of having a relationship with them in the 1st place! Therefore, I am at a complete loss to understanding them! Sometimes I wish I was that character that Mel Gibson plays in the film “What Women Want” so I know what really is going inside women’s heads. I have dated unattractive women and I agree, like unattractive men, they come across as too desparate!
Hi Tom
Sometimes women act pleasant on a date and don’t tell you when they are bothered by something. I’ve done this a lot myself. If you don’t believe your looks, or your personality, or character are a problem then you probably will be successful. Do you treat the girl on the first date? Do you try to ask her questions about herself? Do you make girls laugh? The first two things are VERY important. You will have an edge over other guys if you always hold the door,and make sure when you are walking on the sidewalk with her that you make sure that you are closer to side with the traffic than she is. (this means you may have to switch sides with her.) Also don’t sit at the dinner table until she has sat down. Also offer to hang up her coat. In other words be chivalrous. Most guys I’ve met are pretty crappy when it comes to that. Also don’t speak to her in a condescending tone. I’ve met a lot of guys who do that too and it’s a turn off. Women may not tell you why they may turn you down. Sometimes it’s for superficial reasons like how much $ you make and other times it can be a personality problem. Btw why do you want a relationship? This may seem like a silly questions but it isn’t. You may want to give that some thought before your next date. I myself am very tired of relationships. Maybe you should just date to have fun rather than date for the purpose of attaining a relationship.
hi.
I was just reading the comments and honestly, I think pretty girls have a MUCH harder time than average-looking girls. To me, I see more girls that are okay looking w/boyfriends than hot girl. I feel that girls have it harder bc we are not suppose to talk about certain topics, like marriage/kids..anything related to those two. A guy can say marriage 10x the first time he meets a girl, but the second a girl says something along those lines, the guy is like get me the heck out of here, pronto! lol
it’s hard on both sides. And for the record, I dont think the guys in these success stories are goodlooking at all. What I notice is nice looking girls w/the so-so looking guys.
To Sharon in Israel
I have heard before what you write about some guys in Israel have a hard time forming relationships and moving to the next stage. I can not disagree with you experience.
However, here in London, UK, it is a lot of the women who seem to have that issue.
There are many decent hookup men in this city who are left on the shelf by women who are too picky; they either emigrate, marry out of just give up looking.
I wish I understood why hookup men and women often make it so hard for themselves to find a partner.
Jon
I think this chatter about attractive or unattractive misses the point. Everybody has different opinions on who is attractive and who is not. If eveybody had the same opinion then almost everybody would be single.Being a face man may get you the first date, but with no personality you will never get a second date. I have met two women on 100hookup who were fabulous looking and nonetheless were not asked out on a second date by myself. The one lady I dated for about 5 months was cute, but no bathing beauty. Am I attractive? I really can’t say; it must be my personality I guess. Geoff
I have to comment here…. First of all, Mazel Tov to Kelly and Brian. Second, Tom, attractive means different things to different people. To me, an attractive male profile is one that is complete, honest, not filled with spelling and grammar errors, and age-appropriate for me (not more than 10 years older). The importance of a man’s appearance is secondary to his brains, wit, and kindness as evidenced by what he took the time to write. I have been attracted to men who are objectively physically average (or less), but who have many other good qualities. I think men are far more focused on appearance than are women. Tip for guys: When writing to a woman, pick something in her profile on which to comment. Flirts and e-cards demonstrate to me a lack of imagination. I want to feel like someone took the time to read my profile (rather than just look at the pix) and then came up with something original.
p.s. I am 43 and divorced. My age and pix are honest. Valerie (aka CuteVacationer)
Tom,
I really think that meeting the right person is a question of luck. I think that I am quite attractive and it’s been a while that I’m single. Guys take my number but never call me back, attractive or unattractive. But, you know what, I don’t care because at least I am not wasting my time.
Tom, remember that you just need one girl, like I only need to meet one guy, the one.
Hello. I was reading some of the comments on this site, and in a way I kind of agree with this person named Tom.
I feel that I may have some of the same problems as he does.
I am also an average looking guy, with a job, and wanting to find that
special woman in my life.
How come I rarely see any so called “average” women, on this site?
Many of the women say they are “kind”, and “considerate”, in which are some of the common things that I am looking for.
Okay, so when some of you ladies look at a man’s picture and profile, what are you looking for?
Many of you really are attractive.
What surprises me is that you ladies have a problem trying to meet that special man in your life, as well.
Ever consider looking at some of us “average” guys as well?
Thanks for reading.
Just to continue with my comments, any ladies who have read my last comment, feel free to check out my profile, and let me know your opinion.
I go by the name of “misterhugs”.
Tom,
Though Amber and others may have good intentions for you and make a few good points, please steer clear of most of this advice when going after a woman who you’re attracted to. Opening doors and walking on the traffic-side of the sidewalk is not going to get you a second date and certainly not a relationship with these women you desire. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do chivalrous things from time to time, and yes there are certain things you can do to improve your physical presentation, but the real key is to genuinely present yourself in a way that will set you apart from others. When on a date, take a sincere interest in her, listen carefully when she talks, but don’t view her has someone you MUST “have” or “be in a relationship” with. This approach reeks of desperation and will kill any chances of something real materializing. Instead, reverse it. When you’re out with her, force yourself to be confident (even if you’re a very insecure person in general) and ask yourself “Is she good enough for me”? Convince yourself that you are The Man. But don’t act cocky or condescendingly – be pleasant. But in your mind you need to be mainly concerned with “is she MY type?”, not “am I her type?”. Yes you have to be able to uniquely “sell” your attributes, but more importantly, she must impress YOU. It’s very important that you shift your mindset about the way you approach women and dating in general. The biggest thing is to not take the date/her so seriously nor try too hard. Make her laugh, and maybe in a cute non-confrontational way, call her out on something that you disagree with. Women like men with a backbone. Don’t be rude or disagreeable with most things she says, but don’t kiss her ass either. The key here is to get to the next date and leave a pleasant taste in her mouth curious to see you again. Then a next date and a next date and so forth…before you know it you will be involved with a woman you desire. There is a lot more to learn…
Tom, if you’re tired of getting your messages ignored or getting flaked-on, or if you think your photos aren’t appealing or “flashy” enough to draw the attention of those whom YOU find attractive, I can help you out. No matter what you look like, I can teach you how to captivate the attention and interest of women you desire. I’m an Online Dating Coach and I can help you create a highly effective profile, write compelling “intro” messages, valuable phone conversation skills and dating techniques. Whether you’re looking for a serious relationship or something more casual, discover the unique methods that will allow you to move seamlessly from initial email exchanges to confident phone conversations to exciting and fulfilling interpersonal experiences. Email me at and we can set up a free consultation.
look guys and gals, I am real new to this internet dating thing but its one thing I have learned through life and I have kind of made it my creedo. its called the SW3N pricipal and it goes like this. Some Will, Some Wont, So What, Next! its that easy. take it for what its worth.
this is a nice story, but its still hard for us single guys. my responses from here are insanely hurtful sometimes. i have a great job with a great future and no worries, but because im not a DR. or Mr. Wall Street, its hard for girls to take me seriously. and hey, sometimes u dont know if a guy has a great family business that he dont express fully because hes scared for a girl to love him for the money and not love him for him.
Hi J
Just so you know, plenty of girls appreciate chivalry on a date. I am one of them and I know others who feel the same way. Btw chivalry sets a guy apart from others. Of course chivalry alone won’t cut it. Tom, if you can hold an conversation, look presentable, show that you are interested in her rather than for just a booty call, and be chivalrous you’ll do much better than a lot of other guys.
Also ,more advice to guys: if you want a girl don’t only resort to texting or IMing. Some of you may be afraid of conversations but talking is much more important for healthy relationships than texting.
If you only want a hook up texting alone is just fine though.
About attractiveness — I have to say a few things. Beauty is no special pass to finding love. I have looked everywhere for “the one” — and I give every man who approaches me in a respectful manner a chance, because I hope that he will be the man for me. When I look at a man’s profile, of course I look at the pictures. But I’m not just evaluating his physical beauty (beauty and attractiveness are two completely different matters, by the way.) Attraction is much more complex. It involves the whole package, inner and outer. I like it when a man’s profile photo shows him in his best light, and by that I mean that I can tell he has chosen a photo thoughtfully, and not just posted a shot of him that looks like he’s not even trying to “win” me. Also, so many men do not fill out the essay portions of the profile. I am immediately attracted to a man who writes about what he is looking for in a relationship, and honestly, a man is more apt to win me with his words than with his looks. I like it when his essays romance me. The way a man talks to me and connects with me is so much more important than his level of physical beauty. And above all, the inner character of his heart — what is really at the center — is what I’m looking for.
I will also say that some men have been rude to me here, when I am online and they IM me. Sometimes I feel like they are giving me a marriage “job interview.” One guy who, by the way, was physically attractive, actually said to me in our first conversation, “Well, that’s strike two.” He was evaluating me, questioning me, looking me over, it was disgusting and it made me cry. I never talked to him again. He is not the only man who has been rude to me here. I am not a rude person — I am sensitive and polite and I never want to disrespect another human being. But I cannot take another blatant, insensitive “marriage interview” by a man. No matter how “beautiful” he is, that kind of person does not attract me. Perhaps some of the other women here know what I mean.
It’s hard being single, for women and men, who truly want something more, something deeper.
And I am certain about one thing — regarding the photos of attractive couples with success stories. I am sure that these “model couples” are chosen to be shown in photos on the website because they are physically attractive. These “success” photos function as advertisements for the website. I am sure that there are just as many and probably more couples who are not so photogenic and model-like, who have found loving relationships. But those who are featured here are selected in part because they are beautiful. I doubt they are representative of the general appearance of most online men & women.
Tom, if you are that frustrated with being rejected by good looking girls – just go for an average looking ones. Remember definition of insanity ? doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. According to you almost every girl rejects you after the first date and you say there is nothing wrong with you. Well, talk to that dating specialist because you are either aiming too high or your personality needs work. Average looking people make great spouses… would you rather be loved and happy or chase and be hurt by pretty girls and end up alone?
Here are my 2 cents-it seems pretty clear that each person has their own idea about what “attractive” is, and we each have non-negotiable bottom lines about what we want- a couple of mine are…really smart, naturally witty, kind, interested in life, and waaaay past divorce war stories..well groomed (there are a couple more, but not many)And he must be attractive to me. And of the marriages on 100hookup- I’ve seen mostly normal looking hookup types, some thin and some not,but no raving beauties. Take another look at Kelly and Brian. They’re just young.
And then- guys, if you’re really interested in a relationship, why would you post a picture that looks like you hate the world,or that it bewilders you? Or why show that you’re illiterate, or hide behind sunglasses, or show up for a date in a scrunched up cap, bad teeth and chinos that you just took off the laundry pile. And btw- what is “hopelessly” romantic? Not attractive to me- show what you mean by the way you express yourself- if you feel you’re not great at it, bet someone to help you. This is a resume, a marketing tool- what are you putting out there to hook the one you want?
I agree with the other comments that attractiveness comes from within. We all need to take a looong look in the mirror, see what’s so-what others are seeing, and dig within to bring out our best. And get a great haircut. And chivalry and standing upright don’t hurt- it projects a strong life force. So stop whining about being average and upgrade yourSELF and your conversations about yourSELF. Then see what happens. hmmm, good advice- I’ll take it myself!
So, I wish us all love this coming year!!
I’m a 39-year-old average girl. I find it really interesting that 90 percent of the guys say they are super active and athletic.
I’m not looking for Lance Armstrong or George Clooney. Most of the men I’ve dated have been under 5 ft 5 (I’m 5 ft 3) and more like George Constanza. That’s fine – if they can have a conversation and get excited about something besides sports, I’m in.
However most of my guy friends want a girl who is out of their league. They want someone who looks like a model. In this society, if you have those kind of looks, you can pretty much write your ticket.
The rest of us have to hope that a guy will eventually learn that looks fade, but a girl who can quote Shel Silverstein and Star Trek? Well, that lasts forever.
Hi Dawn
Even really good looking girls have problems meeting a good guy. I consider myself one of them even though I’m far off from model height and I’m not blond. Girls have problems with the singles scene in general. The odds are not in our favor particularly if we are from NYC because there are 10 times more women than men in NYC. Guys want a woman who is a supermodel but once they think they have her many of those average guys start to take advantage of that type of girl. All of sudden once she is attainable that means it;s okay to mistreat her, demand, demand, demand, and even cheat on her. I speak from experience unfortunately.
Kylie, it’s all very well to say you only need to meet the one girl but unfortunately people like me having been waiting longer than most to meet that one. I have always been single and that one girl may be a long time coming, if at all. I’m 44 and who wants to be old and grey before they meet the right one? Therefore, it’s only natural for guys to go for attractive girls because I for one, hate being single. It’s awful being rejected but unfortunately I’m used to it, although I believe I’m doing everything right and I look fine. I have found that going for unattractive or average looking girls doesn’t make me happy, as some people have suggested that Tom do.
Dear Dawn:
If you are taking the time to read this, please let me thank you in advance.
I am one of those “average” looking men, in my mid forties, and wanting to meet a that special lady in my life.
Would you be interested in checking out my profile, and maybe having a new friend as well?
If so, let me know.
Thanks, and take care.
Allan, from Canada.
Hi Mark
I’m not sure what you consider attractive. Maybe casting a wider net for what you consider attractive may help you in the long run. I’m not sure if you already know to avoid this mistake but don’t go for a girl in her 20s. Forty something year old guys hit on me even though I’m twenty something. It’s really gross.
Try someone who is in her mid thirties. There are women in their mid thirties would date someone who is 4o something.
I’m not sure what else is holding you back. There is a site called meetmarket adventures that you may want to try to meet women. The events with the most women would be the salsa events, the art gallery tour, and the architecture tour. I’ve been to the events and the women are 30 to 40 something. Hope this helps.
While it is an inspiring story, I do have to side with the few with the negative takes on the whole online dating experience.
I think most that are actively part of this online dating scene are sold on the premise that the abundance of women/men is limitless… and its ease of accessibility is beyond what our folks could have dreamed of… the grass is greener on the other side… so why settle? How many times do you go out on a date with someone from 100hookup, even worse when you actually hit it off which isn’t so difficult, only to find them right back on 100hookup right after the date?
Is it our capitalistic side to maximize our return on investment (the 39.99/month unless you scooped up a sweet long term deal)… or our expertise in emotional detachment holding you back from putting all your eggs in one basket? Because bottom line… until you do, you’ll never truly know whether you’re putting off an amazing find, or ruling someone out for the right reasons.
Let’s not forget… as Jews… we had nothing like this 20 years ago. We never were at the reins of our dating life. It was mostly dictated by the people we were able to be introduced to either through friends, family and/or the community. The likelihood of approaching someone hookup in public were slim to none.
So is it such a big surprise that we’ve become as superficial as Hollywood? Perfection is advertised everywhere. It’s advertised in one form and one form only… beauty. For women, it comes in the flavor of 5’10 and above, well-built, preferably with money, and for men, it comes in any height, 10lbs below what would be referred to as average weight, and well proportioned. We’re no stranger to the 50% divorce rate. Comes to show you that like everyone else, our hormones made the choice… curtains go up few years after… and here you are… finally… and truly getting to know your spouse.
Hello everyone and happy Chanukkah. I read with both interest and amusement the comments of the writers above and have this to say. The colors that make up atraction are a wide palette indeed, and, as in the case with any work of art, the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I have been on 100hookup for a month now and find the hardest part is simply getting a response from a woman. I am rather good looking though certainly no Adonis, but at the same time I am far from an ogre. I have a thriving business and am articulate, very intelligent, and quick witted.
The women I write are not always ‘HOT” but their postings indicate humor, intelligence, and a sense of self that I feel are important attributes in the woman I would hope to want to spend the rest of my life with…which, I believe (or at leaat for me) is the point of joining 100hookup in the first place.
But it does need to be said that there is little point (again, speaking for myself) in opening a dialogue with a woman with whom I can sense virtually no physical chemistry. Does this make me a hypocrite?
No. It doesn’t. Because I at least will answer every single note that comes in for better or worse. In my opinion, everyone deserves a reply. This is only common courtesy. While it may be somewhat uncomfortable to tell someone that you do not feel they may be the right one for you, it at least lets them know you got their message and my hope is that they would appreciate the honesty and candor in being acknowledged.
If someone finds you ‘attractive’ enough or in some other way worth taking the time to write to, the very least they are owed is the decency of a reply. While there may be a few women on 100hookup who may indeed be slammed with too many responses to answer every one, if they are on 100hookup for any period of time given that much attention then there must be something else amiss in the background…wouldn’t you agree?
Finding that ideal someone is a combination of being a game of numbers combined with timing and a sense of dedication. It is not a pursuit for the insincere. I have been in committed relationships in the past and have waited a long time to commit myself to marriage in the hope that I will absolutely find the right person for me. And I plan on spoiling her rotten when I do.
I may not be Mr. Perfect, but if a woman wants sincerity, loyalty, passion, adventure, and love, she would be well rewarde here.
Thnak you for your attention.
Congratulations Brian! I don’t know if you remember me, but we went out on a few dates. You are the nicest guy and I am so happy for you that you found happiness!
Tracy
after reading some of the saying here , i can see that ppl think they not attractive adn they cannt get a nice lady to date them ,that a huge problem , all of u must find in your self that u seccesful, attractive , and u are better , then them all,, lets say this , ifu know what girls looking for , atractive , with a place of his owen , working , I am sure like 90 % of us have it all ,
now lets not find a problem in the other side , lets see what we can do better with our self that we be more atractive more hunsem…
today is a beutiful day its better then yesterday and tomorow will bring a better day from today
gabriel
This is 100hookup blog WARFARE. hysterical.
I have a few comments and one for Mike as well. Mike, may I say that your statement that you go on a date with a woman from 100hookup, have a great time, only to find her back on 100hookup the next day. How would you know that unless YOU went back on 100hookup the next day? I have gone on a few dates, had an awesome time, gone back on the website, to maybe show a pic and profile of my date to a friend or to clear out and answer waiting emails, only to get an IM, I see you….I guess you didn’t have a good time or I suppose I’m not “good enough”. In my experience, these men are bad news! I feel like I’m being stalked. I went out on a date, had a great time, and? Did you ask me out again while we were out? Did you say I’ll call you? If you are trying to control me after the first date, bye-bye! As I said, if you went right back on the site (the only way you would know I did), why is that ok for you and not me? Oh yeah, I forgot, you went back on to see if I was on….
Oh please. Stop the bologna! As for looks, what one finds sexy, another does not. I also find that men online think women are on this site to get sex. One or two texts or emails and the subject turns sexual. I get asked, are you passionate, do you like sex. I say grow up men, get over yourself! It seems the more money you have, the bigger jerk you are!
Gina AKA ItalianoJew
Jules, I am surprised you find all of this hysterical! Maybe, unlike the comments you have read previously, you may consider yourself to be a success at dating. If so, please provide us with useful dating tips!
All of your points are excellent, especially Amber’s.
Personality and expectation are a big part of attractiveness as well.
For example, when all of you meet someone for the first time, do you meet for coffee/tea/a drink or a meal?
Someone on this site wanted to meet, but I was turned off because she didn’t want to meet in the afternoon because “There was nothing to do.” She said “Let’s just meet for dinner.
I didn’t agree and we never met, which kind of bothers me.
But then again, why should I take a complete stranger to dinner?
Even though I was attracted to her, her insistence on dinnner as opposed to a drink or coffee steered me away.
It honestly seems so hard to meet nice hookup Women in the Milwaukee area. I just turned 30 years old back in November, and hardly ever get a responses. I contact women between the ages of 24-38 with no luck. Sometimes I get one responses, and then write back with the same no response. What would you recomended for an average person to do when trying to meet women? Sometimes it seems that hookup women are single, but are only concered about one thing looks. Honestly sometimes average people should be given a chance. I just don’t know what I am doing wrong. Their are several good looking women on here from Milwaukee, but if you contact them they never seem interested.
Awesome story Kelly and Brian.
And Mazal Tov for the birth of your 1st child – 5 months after you tied the knot..
Tom:
Your problem is that you refer to yourself as an “average guy” looking for an “attractive gir” and are upset when attractive women don’t notice you.
That’s b/c Tom, you should be looking for an average girl seeing as you are an average guy
You see Tom, it’s not that the attractive girls are too picky, it’s that YOU are too picky. Like attracts like…mkay?
Cat people like cat people. Dog people like dog people. You know what I’m saying Tom? Do yourself a favor and date IN your league. You will be happier and, more importantly, you will do all of us women a favor.
Thanks Tom! Good luck to you.
to all of you
Find a man
If you’re looking for love,
hunting for your soul mate,
there are some things to consider
before you accept that date.
I bid you, don’t be impressed
by women who’d offer wealth
without happiness.
Though money may be great,
you can’t go wrong,
if you find a woman whose arms
are comforting and strong.
You should look beyond the cover,
delve deep inside the book;
for there’s a measure of a man
that’s more important than looks.
He should have ears that listen
and eyes that are kind;
he should have a warm heart
and an open mind.
He should be accepting
even if he doesn’t understand.
If you’ve met someone that like,
then you’ve found your man.
You don’t love someone because they are beautiful;
they are beautiful because you love them!
I will find as I look back upon my life that the moments when I have really lived, are the moments when I have done things in a spirit of love.
I thought, you might bring that to me now…so get back to me if you want
Remember:
A relationship is a flower which needs constant watering.
resourcing each other
Ladies that wish to comment
You’re miles away, but I’m not away from you at all.
my name on 100hookup jeanpierre2555
I agree with Tom. Sorry everyone. I like attractive men. As a result I work out 5 days a week, watch what I eat, take care of myself, and dress nice. I think it is important to be the person you want to date.
Hi Everyone,
I’ve read some of the above comments and (a) it’s fine to have a standard type, but I also think it’s necessary to be a little bit open to someone who comes along and doesn’t fit ‘the mold’ or your requirements 100%.
That said, it is true that if you become involved with someone who is not your standard type in the looks dept., (but close) over time, they can totally become attractive to you.
(b) it’s wonderful to like attractive men and make yourself attractive to land one, but ultimately you better be doing it for yourself and you better work on yourself internally.
The external is what attracts others to you, initially. However, if you are shallow, or mean spirited, or have nothing to offer a potential partner, your attractiveness will fade.
There are some ppl out to play on 100hookup, as in life…. but you just need to sort through the crap and find the one for you.
Hopefully, I’ll want to return to 100hookup and look for my besheret – who’s attractive both internally and externally – to me, and vice versa.
Tom I agree man… At 25, It’s hard to find a good woman, cause a lot of them are way too picky on(what you write and how you look) and immature, on here too…
I heard a quote once (cannot remember where), that said, “You can learn to love anyone, but you cannot learn to be attracted to anyone.”
I certainly agree with this, so I only get involved with men I find “attractive”- but mind you it’s not like others find them attractive (and certainly not in the same ways). I even had a friend of mine say my boyfriend(at the time) “looked like a dog”. She didn’t mean a cute puppy either. But I find attractiveness in various forms, not always physical (although I do feel it is very important to be a healthy weight – why would I want to be with someone who does not take care of himself and most likely will die prematurely from heart failure?)
However for Tom (and anyone else) let me share an experience with you that may shed some light onto your comment for both men & women. I started dating a man with whom I had been friends with for about 3 yrs. (We had great conversations, it always felt comfortable with being boring, similar personalities, & lots in common). He was a few years older, but looked more than that, physically was average looking, dressed nice but not over-the-top. I look young for my age, dress classy (no cleavage, etc) and in college did some modeling. Well he took me out one evening – drinks at one place and then dinner at another and we had a great time. Well as we both know a lot of people in the area, it was inevitable one of us would see someone we knew. He ran into an older couple who was out with their teenager and a business associate – introductions were made etc. Later I find out what at least one person at that table thought of me – that I was after my date’s money/some kind of high-end call girl! My date doesn’t really have much money anyways compared with most people I know & I am independently well off as I own my company. That didn’t matter though, what someone else saw, dictated what they thought: young, attractive, woman with an older not so hot man must = she’s in it for the money and he’s in it for the sex or any other groundless negative assumption.
Truth is, unfortunately, everyone judges each other on how you look and how you look as a couple. And unless both people are very secure about his/herself those difference can and do cause issues within the relationship. Being equally yoked certainly helps eliminate some problems.
Edit to above comment in 3rd paragraph – should say “comfortable withOUT being boring” !
weren’t these posted comments supposed to be about kelly and brian!!?! On that note, “Mazol Tov, Kelly and Brian!!!” Thank you for sharing your wonderful story!!! Hannah looks adorable!
well after reading all this i just had to comment because so much is true but so much being spouted is BS! first off we all of us want to be attracted to the person we might end up dating – who wants to even consider sleeping with someone whom they find unattractive? and we each of us have our own standards of beauty. that said as a woman who is attractive and smart and of average weight (meaning I am thinner than 80% of the country but not thin by hollywood standards) I have found that most men on this site are looking for a hook-up! it is thoroughly unappealing to be asked to “meet for coffee” at 1am… get real dudes! I have never been on a dating site before and have never had a problem finding guys but I am over the bar scene and pretensions – and quite frankly being hit on is not a compliment when it is obvious you want to get laid not date – take care of yourself for that and treat women like they have feelings and not as if they are simply a body you are trying to get into bed! I have dated many men whom i find gorgeous and many who i don’t – and honestly I have found that the really hot guys treat me better – they have enough confidence in themselves that they don’t need to belittle me to feel good, the “average guys” treat me like crap! it seems as if they make themselves feel better by treating a woman they find very attractive poorly – well guess what all it does is make me feel ‘why the he!! should I lower my standards to be treated badly?’ sorry if that sounds snobby but it has been my experience… also once a man reaches his thirties you in america it seems as if a bitterness has set in and chivalry has died I prefer european men because they actually want to know what a woman thinks and aren’t just interested in arm candy the way so many american men are – another sorry guys but intelligent women have opinions either deal with that or date someone stupid!