|
I think it's time we create our own "hookup Love Day" and put old St. Valentine out of business, at least for us. It just so happens that we already have our own "Love Day," in fact, it's been around for 4,000 years and is thriving today in Israel. It's called TuB'Av, or the 15th Day of August, and it's a time when singles come together to find love, romance, and potential heart mates. Why not begin celebrating it here and let the Christians keep St. Valentine for themselves?
This past Valentine's Day, I began ruminating about creating our own hookup "love day" when I was invited by Princess Cruise Lines as one of a panel of five "Relationship Experts." It was a trip planned for couples that had met on the Internet, something I know a little about as matchmaker in chief for 100hookup.com, the largest online hookup singles dating network.
Now, a number of things surprised me as my seven days progressed. The first thing was the startling realization that the ship was never actually going to leave the dock. Do you know what it's like making noise on a cruise ship deck and being asked to tone it down by the neighbors? The second thing was how taken aback I was by the number of hookup Singles on board who asked why I was playing a lead role in an event honoring a clearly Christian holiday. Never one to risk losing my Gold-Star Jew status, I quickly formulated a rationale: anything that enhances love, regardless of source and origin, is to be encouraged by Jews everywhere, and especially by the Love Prophet himself, me. Besides, Valentine's Day had been thoroughly secularized anyway, right?
But upon intense retrospection and the gaining of my land legs, I have come to realize that Valentine's Day is as Christian as paying retail. To celebrate this sugarcoated, cherub-infested holiday is the equivalent of noshing away on a bacon double cheeseburger and then drinking the wine from the communal cup to wash it down. Eat a bag of conversation hearts and you may as well be popping communion wafers. You say your name is Rivka Schwartz? Well, you may just as well sign that Valentine's Day Card "Christi Christianson."
Let's look a bit closer at this Saint Valentine. The time is the Third Century. Rome and Emperor Claudius rule the land. His army is too small. Seems that young men are not eager to join the army and leave their beloved ladies behind. Go figure. So, Claudius issues a decree that there are to be no more marriages, and anyone caught doing so will be put to death. Meanwhile, back in the bowels of the Roman Cathedrals is a fellow named Valentine, who persists in marrying young couples, despite the decree. Eventually, his luck runs out, and Valentine is sent to prison to await his fate. While imprisoned, he meets the young daughter of a prison guard, with whom he falls madly in love. So, when at last the henchmen come for Valentine, he leaves her a simple note reading: "Love from your Valentine." And the rest, as they say, is history.
But how can you ask us to give up our day of love? Fear not you watchers of Merchant Ivory Films and quoters of Shakespeare! I have not stolen your day of love, but rather I want to replace it with TuB'Av, our own day in celebration of love. "Tu B' What?" Tu B'Av simply means the 15th Day of the Hebrew Month of Av. The story traces back to a great Civil War that raged. Rape and murder did not escape this war. As a result, most of
|
|
the tribe was killed off, save for a faction of about six hundred men who managed to escape to the hills. As the dust cleared, and the people of Israel realized the brutality that they had inflicted, they knew that they needed to move on. For most, this was certainly a challenge, but for the tribe of Benjamin, it bordered on impossible. See, there was this little issue of the laws banning inter-tribal marriage. And those unfortunate Benjaminites well, they had no women left. That would prove to be a problem. And so it was decided that on this 15th of Av not only would the men of Benjamin be permitted to marry the women of the other nations, but they wouldn't even have to do the proverbial "asking out." Instead, the women of the other tribes dressed in white and danced in the open fields, in plain view of their Benjaminite brethren, luring them out of hiding with music and tambourine playing. Tu B'Av thus became one of the happiest annual celebrations on the hookup calendar, described in the Talmud as the day when fair maidens' dress all in white with flowing skirts, flowers in their hair, and song on their tongue. Sort of an ancient Lollapalooza. What a great idea to jumpstart today's dysfunctional singles scene!
This date, August 15th, is the perfection of both time and space, the very building blocks of human creation. Tu B'Av moves with the greater cycles of the earth and the skies. It's when the moon is at it's fullest and when "femaleness" is at it's peak when a woman is at the height of her fertility. The moon also represents the illumination from the darkness, the light through our cynicism, the glow and belief in LOVE. In short, the perfect antidote for today's love-weary cynicism.
In Israel today, TuB'Av is a national love holiday for singles. There are sunrise to sunset rock concerts on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, drawing 20,000 love happy revelers. Parties are everywhere. Matchmaking, on- and off-line, is the order of the day. Radio stations blare all sorts of love solutions. Even bookstores give discounts on their love volumes, and weddings celebrations are found in every nook and cranny of the country.
Tu B'Av is everything we should seek out in a "Love Day" and more. It celebrates life and revelry, whereas Valentine's Day long ago became wrought with loneliness for many. Tu B'Av puts singles in the spotlight and encourages the discovery and creation of love, rather than having us sit home, forgotten and abandoned, writing bad poetry. Tu B' Av is bold and aggressive, while Valentine's Day is tired and passive. It is a renewal of the heart, a re-awakening of the soul. And never has our need for this been greater than right now. After all, we Jews have our own New Year (Rosh Hashanah), our own alternative to Christmas (Chanukah), and our own way of doing business (we only buy wholesale).
What can you do to celebrate our new Love Day? Women, get your single friends together, put on your favorite white flowing dress, and throw a party. Invite some single guys over. Bring each other flowers. If you can't do that, go online and connect with someone. Or, send a TuB'Av "e-love card" to someone you care about (you can do that through 100hookup.com, if you like, it's free). I think you will agree that it is time we established our very own Love Day, TuB'Av, August 15th. In all ways it's better. It's held in the sultry summer, rather than cold winter. It's not only for the lovers, but also for those who seek love. And it's hookup. Simply, it's ours. Let's embrace it.
Happy love holiday to you too.
|
