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Bye Bye to Being Shy

Don't just sit by your Inbox waiting for an email from Cinderella or Prince Charming to miraculously appear. If you're really serious about finding a date, your soul mate or even a friend, the best thing to do is to stay active on the site, and that means getting out there and contacting the people you're interested in. This might seem scary to some of you at first, but remember, everyone at is here to mix & mingle, and a simple note may be all it takes to ignite the spark you've been waiting for.

Here are some tips to get the ball rolling:

  • Make a plan. Set time aside every week to look through profiles, and keep a sharp eye out for new members that have the qualities you're looking for.
  • Set goals. Try to contact a minimum number of members every week (3 is a good number). But only contact the ones that seem interesting to you.
  • Know what you want. Know yourself and know what you're looking for—and say it directly to those you want to meet.
  • Don't be shy. Ask a lot of questions—this is your chance to get the skinny before you meet.
  • Pay attention. "Listen" carefully to responses—they're very telling; ask questions if something bothers you.
  • Give everyone a chance. It may take a few emails to get warmed up, and if romance isn't in the air, you may have found a new friend.
  • Be yourself. Be open and honest in your profile and email—it's you they want to get to know.
  • Have fun. Be creative, flirtatious, vivacious with your words—and laugh whenever possible.
  • Show genuine interest. Mention what caught your eye in their profile and ask engaging questions to keep the communication open.
  • Show that smile. Post photos with your profile to help break the ice.
  • Be courageous. Give it a whirl—you never know who you might meet until you try.

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