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How to Write a First Email

Make it happenYou have your profile and photos posted. You've searched for members in your area. You've picked the people you want to contact. And now you're staring at the blank email screen wondering what to write to get a response.

Well, take a deep breath and let us make it simple for you... The most important thing to do is personalize every email so that the person you're writing to feels special. This may sound like a lot of work, but it's the key to getting a reply. And the more you do it, the easier it gets. After a few tries, you 'll be writing emails in under 10 minutes.

To get started, try this 5-Step Email Guide and personalize it with your own flair.

5-Step Email Guide

(Spice up with your own personality)
Quick Tip Before you start, make sure you have:
  • A completed profile
  • At least one photo posted
  1. Write a short greeting and include the person's name.


    • Dear __________,
    • Hey _________,
    • How's it going _________?
  2. Write one or two sentences about why the person caught your eye. Try to include a compliment.


    • I read your profile and really liked your idea of a first date. Especially the part about being able to keep a conversation going.
    • Hey. Great profile. Sounds like you have a really busy life. You like fly-fishing? And what about the rock climbing thing? Is that for real?
    • I like your photo. Nice smile - looks like you're having fun. What were you thinking about when you took that?
    Quick Tip Keep your emails short, light, and fun.
  3. Write one or two sentences about what you have in common.


    • I completely agree with you about taking a relationship slow. That way you can get to know each other first.
    • My life is pretty busy with outdoor stuff too. I usually go climbing at least once a week.
  4. Ask some kind of open-ended question that requires more than a yes/no answer. Try to link it to something in the person's profile.


    • You work at a zoo? How does someone get into that profession?
    • Actually, I like fly-fishing, too. What are your favorite spots?
    • Sounds like you're trying to go through a big change. Any plans?
    • Sounds like you're really into cars. I've been thinking of buying something in the coming months. Any suggestions?
    • You studied Foreign Policy? What do you think about what's happening right now in _____?
    Quick Tip Read the person's profile closely before you start writing your first email.
  5. Write a friendly closing and your name.


    • Cheers,
    • 'Til soon,
    • Take care,
    • Feel free to write back any time. I love it when I've got mail.
    • Have a great day.
    • Looking forward to hearing more about you.
    • Ciao
    • Check ya l8r!