Q&A: Online Dating Tips for Short Guys
Dear Dr. PsychMom,
I’m a guy and I’m 5’2.” I get no dates. Thoughts?
-Short & Sweet
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Well, SS, your question is as short and sweet as you. I am not going to pull any punches in my answer, because you can handle the truth. Many, many women are setting their online dating parameters at about 5’6” and above, or even 5’8” and above. So, you’re not even coming up in their search results. Then, if you do contact a woman and she sees that you’re 5’2,” she may not respond. Her loss.
Why does this happen? Online dating allows women to be very picky, because they are in demand. And the majority of women prefer tall guys. Just like the majority of men prefer big boobs or slender women. The point here isn’t to throw stones and say that women are shallow, because everyone likes what they like. The thing is though, if you actually met these women in person, they may want to date you because they wouldn’t see you as “a short guy,” because the numbers 5’2” wouldn’t be staring them in the face. Instead, they would see you as “a funny guy,” or whatever other great qualities you have.
That said, here is the approach I would take, and if people want to yell at me, they can. (I welcome yelling from adults! Usually I just get yelled at by my toddlers.) Anyway, here it is: There is a little known-secret that when you sign up for 100hookup using their mobile site, you do not have to enter your height! So, delete your current profile and then create a whole new one by signing up through 100hookup Mobile. I know, I know… deleting your old profile and creating a whole new one is a lot of work! But, what have you go to lose?
If you want to go this route, I would then write something humorous in your new profile description that lets potential matches know your height:
“I’m a smart, funny, politically-minded, and obviously modest lawyer, originally from Philly. I enjoy baseball, Deathcab for Cutie, and intelligent women with opinions about politics. I am also a huge liar because I did not list my height in the hopes that it would help me get through your search filter! Why? Because I’m 5’2.” PLEASE DON’T STOP READING! In order to compensate for this shortcoming (get it?), I have learned how to make killer scrambled eggs, how to charm your mother and grandmother upon our first meeting, and how to Irish step dance. Shoot, there I go lying again. Okay, fine, I’m short and I can’t Irish step dance at all. Will you still let me take you to coffee?”
In addition to leading with a little humorous self-deprecation, adjust your height requirement in your search parameters: target short women, like 4’10” to 5’4.” Furthermore, it might be a good idea to lift weights. Although you can’t get taller, you can get wider, so your square footage will increase.
Good luck, and let me know if you do any better with these helpful, sneaky tips.
Till we meet again, I remain, “The 5’2” Blogapist Whose Height Range Started at 5’7”… So I Am Not Talking Out of My Tuchus Here.”
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Dr. Rodman,
May I first ask why you yourself set your height requirement to 5’7″?
Your statement is false “…if you actually met these women in person, they may want to date you because they wouldn’t see you as “a short guy,”
You also say “the majority of women prefer tall men.”
In reality (the real world) these women would not consider dating someone 5’2″ even if he was billionaire, world explorer, world famous author and gourmet chef. It’s just not happening. These women prefer tall men…in person! That’s why they set the requirement.
But more importantly, your statement here is completely false: “Just like the majority of men prefer big boobs or slender women.”
There is not one single attribute of a female body that the “majority” of men seem to favor as a collective group and thus make it a “requirement” a “general preference” and/or a “deal breaker.” Some men like curvy women, some like thin, or athletic. Some men like small breasts, some like large breasts. There are female models of all sizes. The only possible way that you could compare, is if the vast majority of men said that they are simply not attracted to small breasts –and– this preference was broadcasted to a world that did not have the option for breast implant/plastic surgery and/or surgery that was easily attainable. Can you imagine if breast implants cost as much and were as risky, painful and time consuming as limb lengthening?? Can you imagine if small breasted women were completely ostracized from the dating pool. What kind of effect that would have on single small breasted women? Can you imagine if small breasted women were mocked in the media and in publications and university studies. How about this for a headline: “Small Breasted Women, Why Men Aren’t Attracted Enough to Date Them.” If men had the option to set their breast size preference on an online dating site, that online dating site would be shut down in seconds. And what if someone (in this fake anti-small breast world) emailed into you, and you responded with, “well to give you the hard truth, yes, the majority of men do prefer big breasted women, but here’s what you can do to make your boobs look bigger!” What a joke!
Women are going to like what they like, that is true. But to make the claim that this is not shallow, is absolutely incorrect. I found this defintion of shallow: “of little depth”
That definition completely sums up your response, by suggesting that men of certain height should either a) not list their height on their dating profile or b) openly joke about it. You say this because you know that women are simply unable to look beneath the surface (of little depth). Your response backfired, you response acknowledges that women are shallow.
Essentially, it would appear because of the online dating parameters for height, that the “majority of women” require a physical attribute in a man in which no man can control. It is this “preference” that ultimately creates an unfortunate low social esteem and potentially low self esteem for the individual man of a certain height. But of course in the end it is the woman’s loss. This is why so many times we see women dating the “handsome jerk.”
Here’s the advise I would give our 5’2″ friend. Live life for yourself first and foremost. Use your height to your advantage. If you are finding that women aren’t interested in you because of your height, don’t waste your time on women. Women are shallow…Case in point!! And definitely don’t allow any woman to use you for your money. There’s a funny saying that goes something like “Men think with their penis and Women think with their brain.” Well folks, unfortunately it’s the other way around. So, my short friend, drop the online dating thing as fast as you can. If you live by the ocean take on windsurfing. If you live by the mountains, climb them. If you want kids and you can manage on your own, adopt! I’m sure you would be the best Dad in the world! Work hard at being the best human being you can. Sooner than later, a kind woman that is beautiful on the inside (the 1%) will come into your life. It will happen, it may happen later in life when all of these women with (5’7″ and up requirements) are weeded out. In the meantime, do not lower your self to the level of these desperate single women that are desperately seeking a man simply for his height.
Sincerely,
The Truth