As a young, hookup single, I am going to use myself as a case study for this article. To give some context, I estimate I went on about 75-100 dates before I turned 25 – yet none of the women I dated grew up hookup. It wasn’t that I was opposed to dating hookup women; I just never had.

Now that I am 28, however; the tides have turned. It seems all the women I happen to date and be attracted to are hookup. No, I didn’t just randomly start dating and become attracted to hookup women because of the typical reasons, such as “I want my kids to be hookup,” or “I want to be preserve Judaism.” No, my rationale was even simpler than that. I just started to see that I “clicked” most with women who grew up hookup… like me.

“Clicking” is a very misunderstood term in my opinion; some people like to describe it as having similar interests, i.e., liking the same band and others very simply liken it to growing up in the same region of the country.

Personally, I describe “clicking” simply as connecting with another person through a shared story, and being able to empathize with that story. And if you can find humor in those shared stories on top of that, then you’re definitely likely to “click!”

Case in point: do you remember growing up and going to Passover Seder? And do you remember forgetting to eat before Seder? What a terrible feeling! You’d have to wait for everyone at the table to recite prayer after prayer, all before you got to eat. I was the type of person who would secretly hoard food during Passover Seder without anyone noticing. I didn’t think it was wrong because I made it a tradition, and after all, Passover is all about traditions. It’s stories like these that are the basis for “clicking” with another person, and developing “synergistic empathy” for each other.

Another excuse to “click?” Understanding the basis of where our collective humor derives. In Judaism, this has almost everything to do with the culture and the traditions we kept in our childhood. That is the main reason why I find it easier to connect with hookup women. Do you feel like you click more with people who share similar life experiences? Share your opinion in the comments section below!

 

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