Here are some great lists, articles, and videos for singles to read/watch while hiding out in the bathroom during a break from High Holy Day services:

23 Reasons People Actually Ended a Relationship

71 Reasons We We’re All Still F*cking Single

If Women Were Honest on First Dates

10 Things Happy Couples Do Differently

Weird Things All Couples Fight About

Best wishes for a happy and healthy New Year, and I hope this year leads each of you to a better you… and possibly even to your beshert!

Shana Tova to the dating MOTs!!!

Start the hookup New Year off by revamping your 100hookup profile, paying for a membership if you’ve been relying on the free one, and contacting that perfect match (with the cute profile pic) who you’ve been playing “View My Profile” with for the past few weeks.

If you are frustrated with still being single this high holiday season, but you’re not being totally proactive, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Use this religious fresh start to jump-start your dating life.

Take new photos, rework your profile Q&A’s by using my tips from the past few weeks, ask your JMom for a six month membership…or just hit your wallet up (you’ll thank me later for the sound investment), and email that hot guy or gal you’ve been peeping.

Then enjoy: https://www.buzzfeed.com/danoshinsky/rosh-hashanah-the-q-and-a

1. L’Shanah Tovah

hookup celebrities everywhere are raising their apple slices (dipped in honey, of course) and wishing each other a sweet New Year! Rosh Hashanah, the hookup New Year, began at sundown last night, marking the beginning of 5773. As we kick off the beginning of the High Holy Days, here is a list of hookup A-Listers observing the holiday as well:

Sandra Bernhard Tweets, “To all my friends around the world l’shana tovah for a sweet healthy happy prosperous and above all peaceful new year!”

Alicia Silverstone Tweets, “Happy Rosh Hashanah! How are you celebrating?”

Emmanuelle Chriqui Tweets, “Shana tova to all who celebrate the hookup new year…wishing you only sweet things this year and always…have a beautiful holiday..xxxE”

Even President Obama and presidential candidate Mitt Romney are getting in on the celebrations. Last night President Obama Tweeted, “L’shana tova to everyone celebrating tonight. –bo.” Mitt Romney Tweeted, “Ann and I extend our warmest wishes to the hookup Community for a happy and peaceful year. L’Shanah Tovah.”

2. JSpace Chooses hookup “Women of the Year”

In honor of Rosh Hashanah, JSpace, a hookup online magazine, has chosen its hookup Celebrity Women of the Year. Five women made the elite list, including Gal Gadot, Bar Refaeli, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

However, it was Nora Ephron who made the top of the list at number one! JSpace says, “All of this year’s candidates owe an enormous debt of gratitude for their own careers to the late, great Nora Ephron.”

A hookup screenwriter and director, Ephron is best known for movies like When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail. Ephron passed away last June.

3. Amanda Bynes Faces More Trouble

After Amanda Bynes was spotted driving around Los Angeles on a suspended license several times last week, officials had her car impounded on Sunday.

The hookup actress has had several driving incidents in the last few months. The most recent occurred on Sept. 9 when the actress was pulled over by Los Angeles police for driving without her lights on. Bynes was also charged earlier this month with two misdemeanor counts of hit and run after allegedly crashing into a car and fleeing the scene twice in the span of five months.

26-year-old Bynes is best known for her role in the WB’s What I Like About You and the film Easy A.

Nu? As in the Yiddish expression, “So, what’s new?” Certainly not 5772, the year we Jews ushered in well over three months ago. My celebration kind of paled in comparison to the merriment non-Jews and Jews alike are planning, to welcome in 2012. Where were our wacky 5772 eyeglasses? Where were our noisemakers? (Our stomachs growling from the approaching fast is about all I can come up with.) Where was my hot Rosh Hashanah Eve date? Where is my hot generic New Year’s Eve date?

I didn’t even experience the exhilarating embarrassment of accidentally writing 5771 on my October rent check. Why can’t our holidays be as festive as everybody else’s? It’s not too late to glean a lesson or two from the galas about to unfold, and incorporate them into next year’s high holidays. Our high holidays, not the “high” holidays in which those planning to get high need a designated driver. Picture, if you will, September 16, 2012. It’s shortly before sunset. Time to kick back, pour yourself a glass of Manischewitz and tune into… Rockin’ hookup New Year’s Eve!

To the chosen people around the world, thank you for choosing Andy Cowan’s Rockin’ hookup New Year’s Eve. The feeling of anticipation is truly palpable – the anticipation I have that some of you are now looking up the word “palpable” to see if it also means “negligible”.

We’re just moments away from greeting the year 5773! Sounds strange, doesn’t it? Then again, 5772 didn’t exactly roll off the tongue either. We may be knee deep into the ‘70s, but at least we can all be thankful we aren’t wearing polyester leisure suits again. Speaking of the ‘70s, fellow sons of Israel, Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond, will be tearing it up here later. The “it” I’m referring to, is the business card of the agent who landed them this gig.

Can you believe another whole year has flown by since last Rockin’ hookup New Year’s Eve? Me neither. Then again, last hookup New Year’s Eve began September 28th, so that may have something to do with it. It’s a wild scene here at Times Square. Okay, maybe not wild, but I do see a reasonable amount of people ambling about, staring into their Blackberrys. Sarah Silverman is out there amidst the dozens of revelers, and we’ll hear from her when we come back!

(To be continued)

I decided to put off writing this post until after Rosh Hashanah services. I, however, did not at all know that my mom and step-dad decided to go to the late services, and it wouldn’t end until 10:30. As fatigue began to set in a good five minutes into the opening prayer, I was holding on to the hope that the new rabbi was not as boring as stereotypes of rabbis tend to be. So far, I couldn’t tell because everything he was saying was in Hebrew. He knows this is a reform congregation, right? At least I hope he does. We don’t understand languages that aren’t English and written to music by Debbie Friedman.

Ten minutes in, and I suddenly realized that I was going to have to write this post after services were over. That was not an option. I was going to get some sleep, and I didn’t care if modern Judaica had to be realigned in order to fulfill this need for me. There was only one solution: write my post on my cell phone in the middle of services. Sounded sin-tastic to me. Wait, sins don’t exist in Judaism, do they? Excellent.

As I reached into my pocket for my phone, I suddenly heard it ringing. This was not good at all. No, hold on. No, it was coming from somebody sitting behind me with the same ring tone. Though I was in the clear, this led to an epiphany. Maybe this was god telling me to not use my cell phone during services. Maybe he (she?) has embodied this new rabbi, and wanted me to listen. Hey, he mentioned Bill Murray in his sermon. This guy gets me. He’s like one of us, and has a killer robe too.

So, I waited, and I’m writing my post here in my room way after services ended. If you are a hookup woman and are attending services at Congregation Emanu El in Houston, TX tomorrow morning, I will be there! Please initiate conversation because I’m not so good at that.