Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker and author of Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate recently made headlines because of some recent comments she made about hookup men being liars. In light of her recent comments, we’ve dug into the 100hookup archives and pulled out a few excerpts from a JMag® interview we did with Stanger a couple of years ago.  See what Stanger had to say about the topics of hookup dating and hookup men to Greg Liberman, President and CEO of Best Free Hookup Apps®, owner and operator of 100hookup, the leading online community for hookup singles.

Some highlights:

When Liberman asked Stanger about the dynamics between men and women she responded similarly to her recent interview. She said, “If you’re over 40 and you’re not getting any hits and you look younger, drop a few years off your age. Just to get in the window. But, no more than five. Don’t do a 10-year drop. You’re going to get into in trouble with that. We’ve seen men lie about their age, their height, their weight. So it’s not uncommon for men to lie. It’s been the same story. If you’re a woman in your 40s, you should date guys in their late 40s or 50s. If they’re being really particular about it because they want to have children, leave those men alone and go for a better man who’s maybe been divorced with kids. But don’t give up hope, he’s out there!”

But don’t be fooled while Stanger might seem to be hard on our hookup men she’s still got a soft place in her heart for them as well. Liberman asked Stanger, “As a hookup woman, do you feel that there are cultural differences between Jews and non-Jews when it comes to dating and relationships?” to which Stanger responded “I still believe that hookup men are the best husbands because they’re providers. And there is still the whole thing where the woman gets to stay home, raise the kids, and the husband slays the dragons at work.”

What are your thoughts? Does Patti Stanger have it right or is she being too tough on our hookup men? Comment below.

Have you heard 100hookup is responsible for more hookup marriages than Match.com®  and eHarmony®  combined?

We’re celebrating more than just the beginning of the hookup New Year. A new study confirms that 100hookup is responsible for more hookup marriages than all other dating sites combined. Of course we already knew this was true, but now we have the facts to back it up.

We recently commissioned an independent research company, ResearchNow, to survey nearly 1,000 married hookup internet users. One of the most compelling findings: 100hookup is responsible for 52% of the marriages that started online, while only 17% of those surveyed met on Match.com® and 10% on eHarmony®.

Those who were surveyed were more likely to find a date on 100hookup than on any other online dating site. In fact, 63% of all online dates came from 100hookup. That’s three times more than Match and nine times more than eHarmony.

We couldn’t be happier about 100hookup’s success and contribution to the hookup community, and are thrilled to share the good news!

Additional Highlights

·         5 out of 9 Jews married since 2008 used online dating during their search

·         63% of online dates amongst Jews originated at 100hookup

·         76% of hookup online daters use 100hookup

·         Match.com’s President even used 100hookup

Kids, I am about to experience the most awkward situation of my life. The Countdown to this moment is set for 72 hours from now. I’ve worked for this my entire life. All of the times I called Erica in junior high and asked her to go out with me. All of the times I nervously walked around and pretended that I was okay being the only person without somebody to slow dance with at Bar Mitzvah parties when I was not okay with it at all. All of the times I was in a movie theater with Sarah (that one just happened once).

Now kids, in order to understand the upcoming awkward encounter, we have to go back a few months. Maybe six months. Let’s say six months. Six months. I was about 60 pounds heavier, and my 100hookup pictures reflected that weight discrepancy. It was relatively more difficult to receive and maintain a conversation with a girl. I managed to talk to the same girl via IM several times, until she looked past my main profile picture that made me look a lot less fat. After she saw all of my pictures, she bolted and I didn’t talk to her again.

After I lost a good amount of weight, I changed my profile pictures. After the new me surfaced, the same girl initiated an IM with me. This was unprecedented. Was she only talking to me because I was thinner? Probably. Did I care? Nope. We talked several more times. We soon learned that, coincidentally, she was going to be in charge of the food at the wedding of two good friends of mine in a couple of weeks. We then planned a date together. I took her out to eat and see a movie. It was fun. After the date, I texted her thanking her. She didn’t respond until I texted her again the next day. She responded saying something along the lines of wanting to be just friends. Though it was pretty much what I expected, and I was certainly used to that rejection notice, I impulsively shot her a text saying that I would let her know when I got thinner. She asked why I said that, and I didn’t know really. We both somehow decided to be friends without really meaning it.

Anyway, the wedding is three days from now, and though this situation does seem like a crock-pot of awkwardness, anything involving myself should be taken seriously. Actually, it might not be awkward at all, unless, of course, she reads this post, which is entirely possible because I told her on the date that I was a blogger for 100hookup.

I have decided to implement a new rule henceforth. Here it is: Never tell a girl whom you’re on a date with that you’re a blogger for 100hookup. This rule applies pretty much only to me, as I am sure the expert bloggers are already happily married. As I ate my non-Subway^® fajitas on another date that was destined to end in sadness, I mentioned, in the smoothest way possible, that not only does 100hookup have a blog, but that I am a writer for the blog. Though reactions are usually positive, I never really thought that they may be completely fake.

Imagine hearing, while on a date, that the person you’re on a date with writes regularly about dating. The first question that should pop-up into any normal brain would fall along the lines of “Why isn’t this guy married?” The answer to that is simple: I know nothing about dating. So after I told her that I’m a 100hookup blogger, everything went downhill and climaxed in an awkward text I will have received the next day saying that she’d love to be friends with me.

So what if the guy you’re currently on a date with tells you that he’s a 100hookup blogger? Do not let him go! He is lonely and sad and needs companionship. He feels weird writing about dating while simultaneously drowning in mediocrity. He has good qualities that might take more than a date for you to realize. He was once on the cover of an international magazine! He did well on the SAT!

I actually am quite happy. I  just would like the camaraderie of a nice girl. Don’t cry for me, I recently received a free computer!

Often times when people learn that I blog for an online dating website they think this means I would be a good person to get dating advice from. While I can completely understand what the perceived implications of my being a so-called “dating blogger” suggest I am always quick to point out that I am far from a dating expert.

During the past year that I have been a blogger for 100hookup I have always viewed my writing as a way to express my feelings about dating, tell dating stories and bring up dating related topics that I think are relevant. Furthermore, 100hookup has experts that write weekly blogs which give people information on how they might become better daters, answer reader’s questions and debunk popular online dating myths; therefore I have never seen my blog as the appropriate place to dole out advice.

Sure I have written many blogs where I have used a personal experience as a way to help guide people away from making similar mistakes; however I wouldn’t view these anecdotes as forums for giving advice. When I think a situation for advice giving I picture a person with a specific problem who is asking someone (a dating expert) for the best way to handle or approach it. In this scenario consideration isn’t necessarily given to whether the person you are asking for help has ever been in that situation themselves, or knows very much about the  personality or past dating history of the person asking.

When I write a blog about a personal experience I often times, at the end, leave the reader with what I learned from an experience, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they will have a similar outcome or should handle things the way I have retrospectively realized I should have. In the end everyone is unique, and so are their dating experiences, and as much as I wish I could help my friends or anyone else with their specific dating problems I am perfectly resolved leaving that up to the real experts and trying to help in my own way by simply writing about my experiences and hoping that at least one person can get something from reading them.

Online dating works. It really does. Every site loves to advertise the success rate its “clients” have, not only meeting people and going out on dates, but also how many of them end up getting married. Of course I knew these testimonials I was seeing on television and reading online weren’t fabricated. Yet, they really didn’t hit home with me until someone close to me met a woman on 100hookup he eventually married.

Many of my friends have used online dating as a tool to meet people for far longer then I have. But this was the first time that I knew well got married to a person they had met online. To be honest this struck me in a slightly different way than when my friends have married their college sweethearts or gotten married to people they met at work or through friends. I don’t mean to imply that that difference is negative, but rather just that it’s new.

Over the past several years online dating has become mainstream and forever influenced and changed the way that people meet, interact and date, which is something many of us are currently benefiting from. In the end I don’t know if I will find my future wife on 100hookup, through a friend or at a coffee shop. But I do find it comforting to actually know someone who is a true online dating success story.

About six years ago I was perusing my 100hookup matches at work and saw a familiar face. It belonged to the guy sitting in an office down the hall. Awkward! Besides the fact that I didn’t know he was hookup or even single, do I let him know that I know he’s on 100hookup and, in fact, is one of my matches? As it happened I didn’t have to do anything. We started talking organically and although I already knew more about him from his 100hookup profile, I didn’t let on. But because I knew certain things about him — like the fact that he was hookup, single and willing to be on 100hookup — I saw him differently. When he asked me out I happily accepted and only on our second date did I let him in on my secret. Of course, it didn’t work out for us, but for a time our relationship was all credit to 100hookup even though we didn’t technically meet there. 100hookup is a great way to do a background check on someone you meet elsewhere. Yeah, it can be considered cheating, but it also can give you some insight as to their personality and your commonalities and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just be careful during conversation that you don’t let on to your sneaky ways.

My friend Lauren told me she recently froze her 100hookup account. She said she could be going on a date every night of the week with a different guy but none of them ever pan out and she’s exhausted from having the same first date conversation over and over and over again. She’s sick of giving opportunities to guys she knows aren’t right for her and never hearing from guys she thinks she hit it off with. Why is she having such a tough time getting closer to meeting her Beshert?

Lauren is active in the hookup community – in fact she works for a hookup organization so she has the scoop on every guy available – and she attends single events regularly. She’s doing everything right. I checked her 100hookup profile and her pictures are great, her descriptions are witty and her expectations are reasonable. She is always dressed well, make-up and hair done, smile on her face. She’s got a great personality: incredibly smart and funny, with the right amount of self-deprecation and sarcasm. She has a lot of great hobbies, is well-read and is able to speak on a number of topics to make for an interesting conversation partner. So why is she having such a tough time getting closer to meeting her Beshert?

Lauren doesn’t have any unsightly physical imperfections, she doesn’t have an ungainly demeanor, and she doesn’t have a hidden temper. Lauren comes from a wonderful, cohesive family and she has plenty of friends who adore her.  She volunteers and raises money for great causes. She’s an all-around great girl and I’m proud to call her one of my friends. So again, why is she having such a tough time getting closer to meeting her Beshert?

Lauren is far from alone, many single guys and gals also wonder why they’re still single when they have so much to offer. Sometimes they’re just blind to how they’re truly coming across on dates, but for the most part it’s simply timing. I told Lauren to take her break and then to jump right back into the dating world because her chances of meeting her Beshert are even slimmer by not being on 100hookup. I told her to keep going on 100hookups no matter how redundant they seem. Eventually it will happen for her. One date, one night, will seal her fate. It only takes one time for a date with seemingly repetitive questions and textbook answers to turn into your conversation partner for the rest of your life.

I know it’s easy for me to say this since I’m married now and not single anymore, but I tried to reassure Lauren by telling her that each day that goes by is one day closer to the day she meets her Beshert. It’s so cliché, but in dating patience and persistence are the keys to success. Blah, blah, blah, right? But what is Lauren going to do, give up and stay single the rest of her life when all she really wants to do is get married to her Beshert and start a family? No, she’s not. Some women are confident with being alone and independent for the rest of their lives, but Lauren doesn’t want to be one of those women.

For now, Lauren is dating in a healthy way by taking a break and keeping her sanity. I know she isn’t going to give up on love and I think she’ll be back online before she knows it. And soon enough I’ll be dancing the Hora at her wedding because I have a feeling she’s going to meet her Beshert in the near future.

Dear Tamar,

I’ve belonged to 100hookup for many years, but the format has definitely changed.  I am 75 and want to see men 75-79.  HOW DO I GO ABOUT THIS???

Dear New Profile Format Help!,

It always takes me time to get used to new formats. It took me months to stop noticing and getting annoyed by the new Facebook and Twitter formats so I’m sure it’s frustrating when your favorite dating website changes things on you. But don’t fret, I’m here to help! First, take some time to explore the new site. Play with different levers: change your preferences, fill out the Color Code personality quiz, use the Click!® and Flirt features, send messages, play Secret Admirer or answer the fun trivia questions and so on. You have a realistic age range, so then be flexible and tinker with the other categories. Most importantly, be patient while you adjust to the new format.

I can now admit that I didn’t always used to act very lady-like when a waiter would get my order wrong. See, I’m allergic to onions and I always say “no onions please” when I order my food but 9 times out of 10 my food arrives with scallions sprinkled on top. Um, did you know that scallions are a form of onion? I did. So are chives. Shocker right? Well, the waiter and/or cook must not be educated on this topic and it irks me to no end. I used to lose my cool, give dirty looks, speak in a nasty tone and just be plain rude. Would I get a new dish without onions that was probably comped (and spit on)? Sure. But it would also ruin our dinner.

I was totally unaware of my behavior but others were not. Finally, my then-boyfriend-now-husband let me know and told me he wouldn’t stand for it and found it to be a huge turn-off. He told me the cold hard truth – I was embarrassing myself and the people I was with (including him) by acting like an ungrateful, spoiled brat. He asked me if I wanted people to think of me in an ugly manner. Of course the answer was no. He told me that if I didn’t change he would have to seriously rethink our relationship because he wouldn’t marry somebody who didn’t respect the hard-working people of the service industry. Obviously that got my attention. I was completely oblivious to my own facial expressions and tones but I was aware when others acted in an ugly manner in restaurants or stores and I didn’t like it. I didn’t want others to look at me that way anymore, especially not my significant other.

So I changed and for the better. I order more specifically and make sure to show the waiter a smile and appreciation for having to customize my order. Does my food still arrive with onions sometimes? Sure. But I recognize how hard the waiter is working and sweetly ask for my food to be replaced. My now-husband is incredibly proud of me and recently when the waiter got my order wrong three times in a row he was impressed by my self-restraint and ability to keep my composure.

It doesn’t matter if you’re on the worst date ever, don’t lose your cool on the waiter. It’s okay to be thought of as that person there was no chemistry with but you don’t want to be remembered as rude. And if you’re on a date that’s borderline – still being decided if it’s going well or not – you don’t want to influence it for the worse because you were inconsiderate. Finally, if a date is going great, don’t ruin it by being ungrateful and impolite.

Women always say they want a man who treats his mother well, but it’s more telling how he treats the waiter. If he thinks the waiter is his personal servant it’s likely he’ll think of you that way, too, one day. And ungrateful women will most definitely be categorized as snobs and no one wants to marry a snob. You may say you don’t care what people think of you but you also don’t want to be thought of anything less than positive, right?

It’s the little things like saying “please” and “thank you” and actually meaning it that go a long way. It shows you are mature, have good manners and understand the value of hard work. Those are the virtues to want in your husband or wife and the mother or father of your future children.