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Self Involved Syndrome

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

When people are actively dating they get used to the idea of self-promoting – talking about themselves at such a length that was previously uncomfortable and unacceptable all in an effort to sell themselves. But there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed when it comes to being too self-involved… namely, when you forget to ask about the other person and actually begin to enjoy hearing yourself talk about yourself. Don’t give up when you find yourself faced with the Self Involved Syndrome because it’s pretty common and not always indicative of the person. Many people get jaded by the online aspect of JDating®, the picking and posting of photos of yourself, writing about yourself and making yourself seem bigger and better than you may actually be. It can be daunting to make good on all your promises (even when they’re true) by finally meeting each other in person. When someone you’re communicating with on 100hookup seems self-involved, don’t misconstrue it as disinterest. Instead, try to steer the conversation towards banter and making plans. Try to get offline and in person as soon as possible.

Do a self-check to make sure you’re not the one being overly self-involved. Before you send an email, read it back and calculate the ratio of sentences about you and sentences asking about the other person. It should be equal, 50/50. Of course, respond to questions asked of you or comment on something the other person said to create a tête-à-tête – just remember to toss it back and lead the conversation forward. You can use this self-check in person when you’re on a date, too. Ask questions but don’t make it seem too forced. Instead, really show interest in the answer and prove you’re listening to the answer by commenting or asking a follow-up question. Talk about yourself but not for too long before turning the table back over. Find subjects you have in common to talk about but also be open to learning about something new – such as your date.


Forefathers and Foremothers

by JeremySpoke under 100hookup,Online Dating,Single Life

100hookup is a privilege, and one that you a few to use.  Our mothers and fathers probably didn’t have this tool at their disposal when they chose their spouse, whom together gave birth to you.  If they had something like 100hookup, they probably would have found someone that was better for them.  As a result, they would have produced someone like you, only better.  You have no idea how much better you could have been.  Though they can’t re-produce you, you can still make the world a better place by using this site to find the perfect mate.

Say your parents met while in college, because they probably did.  When courting one another, they did not have an “About Me” that they could read before meeting.  Instead of being able to read “Physical Info,” they had to actually look at each other in person while simultaneously assessing their compatibility.  This is nearly impossible to do.  They had to simply assume that their opposite had a similar “Ideal Relationship” and that their “Past Relationships” taught them valuable life lessons that they would take with them to the next relationship.  Who knew what the other person’s “Perfect First Date” was like?  Maybe they had no “Perfect First Date” because they were yet to go on it.

Their first conversation probably took place in person.  This can be very intimidating and awkward.  A first conversation can potentially make or break a relationship.  On 100hookup, you can think about what to say before typing it in.  This removes mistakes caused by nervousness and being ‘in the moment.’  People can talk to people that they would never approach in real life.  It is much easier to approach women/men while in the comfort of solitude than in the stress-inducing real world.  If the conversation doesn’t work out, instead of having to sit through the rest of lunch awkwardly, you can simply close the IM box after saying goodbye.


What hookup celebrity would you want to see on 100hookup?

by 100hookupAdministrator under Entertainment,100hookup

 The Kibitz Corner is back.

This time, 100hookup Walking comedian Eric Schwartz wants to know, “What hookup celebrity would you want to see on 100hookup?”

With a bit of commentary to add to the mix, the top 10 winners are:

  • Jake Gyllenhaal

EFade, 25, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Tulsa, OK

Duh. If this isn’t a no-brainer, we don’t know what is. But easy ladies, technically Jake is only hookup by way of his mother. Hey, when you’re that tall, dark and deliciously handsome, we still think it counts, right?

  • Gene Simmons

caryng, 49, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Lower Paxton, PA

We get it. Behind all the make-up, sweat and rock star fame, this Kiss front-man is actually a very charming, witty, family-oriented guy.  The thought of groupies aside, who doesn’t love a man in full-body leather?

  • Natalie Portman

SARdog2010, 22, Single, Man seeking a Woman, Denton, TX

She’s beautiful. She can act. And she graduated from Harvard. As we speak, hookup bubbes everywhere are faclempt and praying for their grandsons.

  • Jeremy Piven

7gila112, 28, Single, Woman seeking a Man, North Miami Beach, FL

Who knows if Mr. Piven is anything like his egomaniacal TV counterpart, Ari Gold?  But, with that quirky smile and nonchalantly confident attitude, there’s definitely something intriguing about him.

  • Bar Rafaeli

MidwestMan , 24, Single, Man seeking a Woman, Long Beach, NY

Listen, if Leo doesn’t get smart and put a ring on it soon, we’re sure he must be missing a few brain screws.  After all, this Israeli-born supermodel is so gorgeous, she appeals to both men AND women.

  • Adam Sandler

supermom1890, 40, Divorced, Woman seeking a Man, Acton, MA

With a dog named Matzo Ball and a raunchy Hanukkah jam that even the most unreligious of folks can recognize, it’s not hard to understand why this funnyman and family guy is so irresistible to the ladies.

  • Jason Schwartzman

Stripes246 , 29, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Brooklyn, NY

Perhaps best known for his depiction of a prep school rebel in the 1998 film Rushmore, Schwartzman exudes an unusual kind of attraction we must admit is infectious. Comedic timing aside, though not strikingly handsome, there’s something about his shaggy brown hair and innocent face that we totally dig!

  • Larry David

Blondie1210, 62, Divorced, Woman seeking a Man, West Palm Bch, FL

Is it his sarcasm? Maybe the stubbornness? Perhaps it’s just his biting wit and overly dry sense of humor. Whatever the reason may be, from Seinfeld to Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David has kept us laughing for years, and we’d imagine sitting across from him at dinner would be no different. 

  • Jon Stewart

alissa6428, 35, Separated, Woman seeking a Man, Merrick, NY

In case you haven’t heard, Jon hasn’t always been a Stewart. That’s right, this Daily Show host was born Jonathan Leibowitz and, despite dropping the tell-tale hookup last name, he’s definitely no less funny. Plus, we even think his grey hair is sexy (a silver fox, if you will).

  • Ben Stiller

CrazyEclat , 40, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Louisville, KY

He’s been Derek Zoolander, the quirky model, Greg Focker, the male nurse and White Goodman, the fitness guru, among others. And we love him as them all. With such a well-rounded resume, which character HASN’T Ben Stiller played on film?


For Every Woman, There Are 250 Men

by JeremySpoke under 100hookup,Online Dating,Single Life

Guys, we’re in trouble.  There are way too many of us.  Not biologically.  The ratio of men to women, in the world, is roughly even.  That is, if you don’t count China.  The 100hookup community is a lot like China.  It’s large, the population generally shares a common characteristic, and there is an overflow of men.  It is true that because the men of China are outnumbered, many good, eligible men will stay single.  There really isn’t hope for many of them, unless they develop some sort of reverse-polygamy method, which doesn’t sound like it would be inherently popular.  But in China, men outnumber women because of past laws governing the sex of children.  On 100hookup, however, the overflow of men is de facto.  Nobody forced more men than women to sign up.  What has caused this unequal distribution?  It’s simple: 100hookup is a microcosm of hookup culture.

Men, if you are online and do a search for women that are online and in your area, you may find one woman.  That’s fine because she seems pretty and friendly and there isn’t a reason she wouldn’t enjoy a conversation with you.  What you sometimes don’t realize is that there are five other men in your area thinking the same thing.  Though you are handsome, charming and funny, so are the other five men.  You have to think strategically.  You can’t start a conversation by saying “hi.”  Do you realize how many ‘hi’s’ the average woman on 100hookup receives daily?  I do not know the exact number, but it is probably in the billions.  We are like undead zombies programmed to both message ‘hi’ to every woman we find, and eat brains.  hookup women have nightmares about random men saying ‘hi.’  They have probably been conditioned to the point where they can’t even deal with people saying ‘hi’ to them in real life.  Their families have ostracized them so they must live in exile  where they live out their years unable to begin conversations.

There is only one solution, in my mind, to this problem.  It’s simple: Let’s start a campaign to get hookup (or non-hookup) women to sign up to this website.  We can start by making posters on college campuses and community centers.  Word of mouth will be essential.  Go to your synagogue.  Ask your rabbi to mention this growing problem in his next sermon; or you can become a rabbi explicitly to solve this problem.  Call your senators.  Let them know that they will be unelectable in 2012 unless they understand the severity of this disparage.  Finally, find a mate and produce children.  When the women grow up, introduce them to 100hookup.  Tell your sons that they have to fend for themselves.  They will be okay.


The Continued Pursuit Of Balance

by RollingStone9862 under JBloggers,100hookup,Online Dating,Relationships

As a blogger for 100hookup I certainly have no problems expressing my opinions on the virtues of online dating. During the time that I’ve been on the site I have benefitted greatly from how it provides a forum to meet people and get to know each other, as well as making dating easier for people who are very busy or don’t thrive in the bar scene. In addition to those reasons, and others I’ve talked about in past blogs, I can honestly say that I’ve had a very good experience with online dating. Even though I was already sold on the online dating experience, recently I discovered yet another reason why it is such a great option for me.

Last week our team embarked on a week and a half long road trip (for those of you who don’t know, I’m a college basketball coach) to play games in Utah, California and Texas. In past seasons I would have completely disregarded my social life and been forced to focus solely on my job since it’s difficult to meet women on the road. However, since I can meet women online no matter where I am, on this current road trip I have continued to be active online emailing and chatting with women I am interested in.

Furthermore I have continued to try to make plans for when we get back from our trip so, in actuality, because of online dating, I have continued to be able to try to meet women in spite on my being across the country for work. Just like when I talk to women while sitting on my couch at home in Chicago there’s no guarantee that I’ll go out with anyone I talk with while I’m on the road, but at least I am continuing to be social and trying to date. As someone who is constantly trying to achieve a balance between their personal and professional life, I am grateful for online dating since it has once again provided with me the opportunity to continue that pursuit where in the past I would have conceded all my focus and energy toward my job.


Late Date Wait

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

My friend Jonah called me the other day asking me for advice. He was meeting a 100hookup at a bar and she was late… really, really late. Jonah arrived at the dive promptly at 9pm and almost immediately his cell phone rang. It was his 100hookup calling to say she was running really late –she was coming from dinner at her parent’s and not only underestimated how long it would take to drive across town but had also ran into traffic. She was apologetic and called twice more to update him as to her whereabouts and ETA. However, after more than 30 minutes of waiting, Jonah left. He didn’t call her to say he was leaving; he simply got up and walked out.

As harsh as it sounds that he left the bar when she was obviously hastily trying to get there, I actually agreed with his actions. Thirty minutes of waiting is enough at this point – even though she was calling – because it was rude and a waste of his time to be sitting there watching the door, getting really frustrated. I told him though that if she were to call and continue to be apologetic and wanting of another date, he should accept and mercilessly tease her about taking advantage of hookup Standard Time (JST) when they finally met. Since she did, in fact, call a few times to let him know she was running late and sounded genuinely sorry, he should without a doubt give her a second chance. I told Jonah that it wouldn’t have been the end of the world had he shelved his pride and impatience and waited 15 more minutes since she was updating him, but I also understood why he left when he left in the way he left.

If your date doesn’t call to let you know he or she is running late until much later that night or the next day, then I wouldn’t give him or her a second chance. That’s simply inconsiderate and a huge clue as to why the person is still single. We all have cell phones nowadays so there’s no excuse not to call. Letting people (dates, family, friends) know you’re running late is a sign of respect.


Can I Get A Do Over?

by RollingStone9862 under 100hookup,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

I swear I never have even the slightest hint of problems with my Internet except for when attractive, interesting women send me instant messages on 100hookup. It’s almost like the exact moment a beautiful woman types “Hi” that some higher dating authority decides to mess things up. I’m not joking, the last three times that a woman I was interested in talking with has instant messaged me, my Internet has inexplicably started freaking out.

Last night, out of the blue, an attractive 29-year-old blonde instant messaged me while I was reading a few emails and generally scanning the site. However, once I was connected with her and we began talking, my Internet decided to be a jerk. After only a minute or two of talking my connection started going in and out, which made it difficult to respond and know which of my responses were getting through to her. I tried to close and then reopen our chatting window but it was taking me forever to connect with her again.

Once our conversation finally resumed she suggested that we try talking over gchat since maybe my computer was having issues synching up with the 100hookup messaging system. This seemed like a good idea so I logged onto gchat and attempted to invite her to chat, but it just wouldn’t connect. After unsuccessfully trying several times to get the program to work I gave up on trying to make the conversation happen.

After the incident I was obviously frustrated since, due to how casual online dating is for some people, I didn’t know if I’d get the opportunity to talk with her again. This morning I have been trying to figure out what the best method to try to contact her would be and what to say, however I don’t think it really matters that much. In the end people either understand or they don’t, and this dictates whether or not they are willing to give things a second chance. Hopefully my run of bad luck with instant messaging is over, but if it’s not maybe this time I’ll get lucky in spite of everything and figure out a way to get a second chance with the woman from last night.


Sketchy with the Cell Phone

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I have been talking to a guy I met on 100hookup and he only gave me his house number and not his cell number. Not only that but when the weekend comes I never hear from him. Do you find this to be weird?

Dear Sketchy with the Cell Phone,

In a word, YES. Nobody uses their house phones anymore; I don’t even have a house phone! So to choose to give out that number versus his cell phone is weird. And I bet when he calls you it comes from a blocked number, right? To top it off, you never hear from him on the weekend… it sounds like this guy is a player. He either has a girlfriend or he’s dating multiple women. Either way, I would recommend you run, not walk, away as fast as you can. There’s nothing positive that is going to come out of this guy.


The Best Piece of Advice Someone Has Given You…

by 100hookupAdministrator under 100hookup

100hookup’s Kibitz Corner recently asked the question: What’s the best piece of advice someone has ever given you?

The majority of 100hookup members said the best piece of advice they’d ever received came from their parents and grandparents.

Here are our top 10 advice snippets including the serious, funny and outlandish!

1. Work to live, not the other way around.

100hookupSara, 26, Single, Woman seeking a Man, West Hollywood, CA

2. Eat your vegetables.

JerrseyGirl, 59, Divorced, Woman seeking a Man, Saint Louis, MO

3. 5% of the people you know cause 95% of your problems

ChicagoDr…, 23, Single, Man seeking a Woman, Woodland Hills, CA

4. Buy shares in Pan Am, book a ski trip to Yugoslavia, bet on that zebra in the Grand National and make war not love.

LordSover…, 42, Single, Man seeking a Woman, London, United Kingdom

5. Between…You don’t need to be a billionaire to be happy but a few million sure wouldn’t hurt! Girls are like busses, miss one, ten more are coming.

MarcJTG, 20, Single, Man seeking a Woman, Roslyn, NY

6. To quote my grandpa, “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”

timg, 20, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Melbourne, Australia

7. Engage the brain before opening my mouth to say something that may offend someone.

petite, 43, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Oakland Gardens, NY

8. Life is not a “dress rehearsal;” you only get one chance so do what makes you happy without hurting anyone else.

Alwaysgiving, 52, Single, Woman seeking a Man, Aurora, CO

9. Never go to bed angry. If you are going to fight, fight in the nude, and it’s ok to fight, ok to argue, and ok to have the last words as long as they are yes dear.”

DivorcedD…, 30, Divorced, Man seeking a Woman, Westlake Village, CA

 10. Before judging someone, walk a mile in their shoes. This way, when you’re judging them, you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

DocBluth, 28, Single, Man seeking a Woman, New York, NY


Reviving Chivalry

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

I refuse to believe chivalry is dead. It’s not that I can’t open my own door or drive myself to the restaurant or pay for my own meal, but when a man does it for me, I feel special.

I remember a 100hookup I met whose efforts were too forced and too obvious, and it was silly, really. He would say my name too often, which was probably a sales technique he learned to help remember names and make the person feel special, but instead it had the opposite effect and came off as insincere. When I answered the phone I heard “Hi Tamar!” When he left me a voicemail it was “Hi Tamar!” Each and every text message read “Hi Tamar!” It was just too much, too over the top and simply annoying.

Another 100hookup I remember lacked simple table manners. He didn’t put his napkin on his lap, chewed with his mouth open, talked with food in his mouth and held his fork like a pendulum over his plate and his elbows on the table. Ick.

One 100hookup extended the “ladies first” etiquette to me, but apparently the same didn’t extend to my female friends. One night a bunch of us went out and he opened the door for me but let it swing shut on my girlfriend. When we were getting our wristbands for the club, he stuck his hand in front of hers and as we were walking through the club he cut her off to walk behind me. Respect me by respecting my friends.

Another thing that bothers me is the indecisiveness. I was asked out on more dates than I can count where the man would ask me where we should go after I was already in the car. Excuse me? Here’s some advice: make a reservation at a nice restaurant and leave a decent tip. I don’t care how much the bill was, but I do care how you treat the server.

Listen, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be yourself… just be your most polite, well-mannered self on your very best behavior… at least on the first date!


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