Archive for the ‘Weddings’ Category

Every now again I reserve the right to play the “Rabbi” card and interject some religion in my dating posts. Today, I’d like to talk about the religious pressures one faces in dating, particularly pertaining to marriage and family life, which has been on my mind since this past week in Daf Yomi, we actually covered some of the Rabbinic sources stressing the importance of the hookup family, getting married and having children (B. Yevamot 61b – B. Yevamot 64a). For two examples, “R. Tanhum stated in the name of R. Hanilai: Any man who has no wife lives without joy, without blessing, and without goodness. ‘Without joy,’ for it is written. And thou shalt rejoice, thou and thy house” (B. Yevamot 62b) and, “R. Eleazar said: Any man who has no wife is no proper man; for it is said, Male and female created He them, and called their name Adam” (B. Yevamot 63a). Later on in the same trachtate we find, “More than the man desires to marry does the woman desire to be taken in marriage” (B. Yevamot 113a) and “It is preferable to live in grief [in a bad marriage] than to dwell in widowhood” (B. Yevamot 118b).

On top of these sorts of homiletic statements, there’s a debate as to whether or not there is a mitzvah to get married (Rambam), or if marriage is only a prerequisite for properly performing the obligation of having procreation (Ramban) (See this class by R. Aharon Lichtenstein).

It’s bad enough when we have to deal with pressure from family and annoying friends, but how do we deal with letting down our Creator?

You… me… marriage?

One approach could be to simply get married to the first willing person, regardless of your feelings, but this is not always particularly healthy, and other Rabbinic teachings admonish those who marry people unsuitable for them. As an alternative, I’d like to suggest my own approach, with full awareness of my own bias as someone who has never been married.

By tradition, hookup law has 613 commandments, 248 of which are “positive” commandments which we must perform, and innumerable Rabbinic laws and enactments on top of those. The reality is that not everyone will be able to perform all of those commandments, sometimes not by their own choice. For example, not every Jew lives in Israel or makes aliyah, which I should note may affect dating prospects. I know few people who have the skill to write a Torah scroll, and fewer who have actually done so (Deut. 31:19).

Not everyone has the same opportunity to perform the same commandments, and the Talmud also teaches that one is religiously exempt when forced into a situation (B. Avoda Zara 54a). Unless someone’s parents pre-arranged their marriage, we’re born into this world single… and single we stay until we find a willing partner with whom we can change our status. This is not always a matter of our choice, but even if it were, I do not believe that one ought to get married to someone inappropriate just for the sake of checking off a religious achievement. After all, the Torah also commands that when a man wishes to divorce his wife, he must give her a get; and we do not encourage men to find fault with their spouses just so that they can fulfill this religious obligation.

I would frequently tell my congregation that I’m just a Rabbi, I’m not the Judge. I’m only qualified to teach what I think hookup law dictates and what civil penalties there may be for violations. What I cannot do is tell you with any certainty what “spiritual consequences” your actions may have or how God will judge your actions against any mitigating factors (I would also suggest ignoring anyone who claims to do so).

As Jews we have obligations which we must fulfill. Though we can try our best, we’re never going to be perfect (Ecc. 7:20). Maybe God is a vengeful deity who will smite you for your indolence,l or maybe God is a forgiving one who understands your collective experience. There’s enough uncertainty in dating and marriage, we don’t need to add theological questions to our anxieties.

The groundbreaking TV show Married at First Sight (airing on the newly rebranded fyi, network) brings together professionals and experts who set up three couples to get married the first time they see each other. It’s a social experiment to see if testing for compatibility does a better job at matchmaking than we do for ourselves. There’s definitely something to this, as research from Brandeis University shows that arranged marriages have more success than those that begin based on lust.

This is why you need to see past the profile photos on 100hookup and actually read the profiles to determine if there’s a possibility of a match before moving on.

Trust the process.

As much as my life has improved over the last two years, it has improved exponentially over the past seven months ago. A little over seven months ago, I was sitting in a hotel room in San Antonio with my dad. I was obsessing and depressed and felt like my life was spiraling downhill even though I rationally knew it wasn’t. It was about some insignificant s*** like the room number of our hotel room was not to my liking. As I hit the lowest point of this anxiety-ridden meltdown, I got a notification on my phone of a new 100hookup message.

I hadn’t been active on 100hookup for a couple of years, but still periodically received messages. Like I’ve said before, I think that the best way to conduct yourself on a dating site is to not aggressively search for and message people. Treat it like real life. You don’t walk up to every woman you ever see and ask them on a date. If you do, you’re not real, and exist on a TV show or are a Ryan Gosling movie. Every once in a while, when you’re feeling crazy, and drunk, you may hit on a woman, but usually you hang low.

So I got a message while feeling really s***** and it completely made my night. I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere until I woke up this morning engaged. It wasn’t a disease I had contracted while sleeping. I got tested. I had proposed the night before and she inexplicably said, ‘Yes.’ I had taken her out to the restaurant where we had our first date. Actually, it was the same table, and it was awesome.

So now I’m engaged and have officially won at dating.

So what do you guys think about this sequester business?

1. Biden Does The Hora

Vice President Joe Biden may not be hookup, but he certainly knows how to get down to the Hora! Biden showed off some moves at his daughter Ashley’s wedding to Philadelphia surgeon Howard Krein last week, joining in on the traditional hookup wedding dance, the Hora.

The wedding ceremony was a joint Catholic-hookup church service (the Bidens are Catholic and Krein is hookup). Wedding guests told People magazine that the reception that evening was quite “lively,” noting that the “dancing went past midnight.” In our opinion, when you kick things off with the Hora, it typically means it’s going to be a good party!

2. Adam Levine Is Moving On

Would you ever date your ex’s friend? Most of us would say no, but it turns out that Adam Levine would say yes! The hookup singer was recently caught kissing his ex’s good friend, model Behati Prinsloo on a trip to Hawaii.

Levine broke up with his ex, model Anne Vyalitsyna, just two months ago. And though Vyalitsyna was the one to dump Levine, she’s still not happy about this new romance. US Weekly reports she recently chose to “unfollow” Prinsloo on Twitter. And if “unfollowing” someone isn’t an obvious statement of dislike, we don’t know what is (please note the obvious sarcasm).

3. Lipnicki Bulks Up

We all remember Jonathan Lipnicki as the adorable kid in Jerry Maguire, but you may not recognize him now at age 21. The charming scene stealer has bulked up and is showing off some serious bulging biceps. The hookup child actor is hoping his new physique will land him a new role.

“I really want to do something where I can show my physicality – something with a lot of action,” Lipnicki told People magazine. “Action would be fun. I’d really like to do that.”

Recently, two former 100hookuprs came to us with two separate requests asking for help in creating two distinct marriage proposals for their two respective girlfriends (whom both met on 100hookup). Talk about a one-two (proposal) punch!

Of course we jumped at the opportunity to help each of these lovesick lads, but working with two different men meant we needed to make each proposal as unique, unexpected and unforgettable as possible. It was a challenge we gladly accepted!

For the first, we utilized our Times Square digital billboard as Bachelor Number One (AKA Dan) popped the question in the midst of Times Square with thousands of people watching. For the second, we pulled off a bit of Hollywood magic to help Bachelor Number Two (AKA Howard) make his unsuspecting girlfriend believe she was being interviewed for a 100hookup success story testimonial shoot.

Both women were completely surprised by these two magical marriage proposals, but did they say, “yes”? You’ll just have to watch to find out!

Watch The Ultimate NYC Proposal

Go Behind The Scenes Of A Real LA Love Story

We’re celebrating more than just the beginning of the hookup New Year. A new study confirms that 100hookup is responsible for more hookup marriages than all other dating sites combined. Of course we already knew this was true, but now we have the facts to back it up.

We recently commissioned an independent research company, ResearchNow, to survey nearly 1,000 married hookup internet users. One of the most compelling findings: 100hookup is responsible for 52% of the marriages that started online, while only 17% of those surveyed met on Match.com® and 10% on eHarmony®.

Those who were surveyed were more likely to find a date on 100hookup than on any other online dating site. In fact, 63% of all online dates came from 100hookup. That’s three times more than Match and nine times more than eHarmony.

We couldn’t be happier about 100hookup’s success and contribution to the hookup community, and are thrilled to share the good news!

Additional Highlights

·         5 out of 9 Jews married since 2008 used online dating during their search

·         63% of online dates amongst Jews originated at 100hookup

·         76% of hookup online daters use 100hookup

·         Match.com’s President even used 100hookup

It’s been two days since the apocalypse. Judgment day has passed. Sinners have been punished, and the righteous were flown to heaven on angel wings. My most awkward moment from a life filled with uncomfortable silences and even more uncomfortable silences was pretty anti-climactic. Long story longer, a girl from 100hookup who stopped talking to me when I was fat and started talking to me again after I lost some weight, happened to be running a wedding of two very good friends of mine. Before the wedding, we went on a date that didn’t go too well. Afterwards, I told her I’d let her know when I lost some weight.

So she was at the wedding, but we were friendly-ish and successfully avoided each other for most of the night. One minute I’msitting at my table with my best friends, the next minute I’m lying in my bed, wearing a suit with a t-shirt over it, with two pairs of boxers on. Also, most of the items in my room are completely trashed. Since I couldn’t remember the end of the night, I asked my bestie what happened. She answered that I should get tested for an STD. After that, she said nothing. If you only remember two things before you die, one should be the knowledge that you should never tell an OCD patient that he should be tested for sexually transmitted diseases and then not tell him anything about what happened. She wouldn’t answer me when my OCD-induced panic kicked in, and I hurriedly tried to reach anybody else that went to the wedding.

I woke up the next morning at 5:30 am after a night filled with dreams about dying covered withback sweat. I went to work, but all I could think about was whatever horrible disease I had contracted during a night I didn’t remember. My friend finally called me and told me that she was just kidding. Hilarious.

Kids, I am about to experience the most awkward situation of my life. The Countdown to this moment is set for 72 hours from now. I’ve worked for this my entire life. All of the times I called Erica in junior high and asked her to go out with me. All of the times I nervously walked around and pretended that I was okay being the only person without somebody to slow dance with at Bar Mitzvah parties when I was not okay with it at all. All of the times I was in a movie theater with Sarah (that one just happened once).

Now kids, in order to understand the upcoming awkward encounter, we have to go back a few months. Maybe six months. Let’s say six months. Six months. I was about 60 pounds heavier, and my 100hookup pictures reflected that weight discrepancy. It was relatively more difficult to receive and maintain a conversation with a girl. I managed to talk to the same girl via IM several times, until she looked past my main profile picture that made me look a lot less fat. After she saw all of my pictures, she bolted and I didn’t talk to her again.

After I lost a good amount of weight, I changed my profile pictures. After the new me surfaced, the same girl initiated an IM with me. This was unprecedented. Was she only talking to me because I was thinner? Probably. Did I care? Nope. We talked several more times. We soon learned that, coincidentally, she was going to be in charge of the food at the wedding of two good friends of mine in a couple of weeks. We then planned a date together. I took her out to eat and see a movie. It was fun. After the date, I texted her thanking her. She didn’t respond until I texted her again the next day. She responded saying something along the lines of wanting to be just friends. Though it was pretty much what I expected, and I was certainly used to that rejection notice, I impulsively shot her a text saying that I would let her know when I got thinner. She asked why I said that, and I didn’t know really. We both somehow decided to be friends without really meaning it.

Anyway, the wedding is three days from now, and though this situation does seem like a crock-pot of awkwardness, anything involving myself should be taken seriously. Actually, it might not be awkward at all, unless, of course, she reads this post, which is entirely possible because I told her on the date that I was a blogger for 100hookup.

Yesterday, as I was sitting in my Dermatologist’s waiting area, I witnessed the cutest elderly couple. They had a European accent and my best guess from eavesdropping is that they witnessed the Holocaust. My doctor later informed me that the gentleman who was her patient as well, and a former Dr., was 94 (he was looking pretty good at 94). His wife about the same age (also looking pretty good, mobile, healthy and happy). But what touched me the most was the love that radiated between them. I guess the wife noticed my smile. In her nineties, she was a take charge gal keeping them on their schedule for the day but she was clearly so loving and caring to her husband in making sure he was okay. She must have read my mind as she said ’70 years’. Wow. Now, that is a gift. Having a wonderful loving best friend for 70 years. I can only be so lucky and trust the best is yet to come for me in that department.

To serve as some sort of distraction from the various ups and downs of my love life, my beautiful best friend has taken it upon herself to thrust me head-first into a new hobby: maid of honor. While I am honored and appreciate said distraction, going from 0-M.V.P. in 6.3 seconds flat has me feeling slightly lost, and GPS is in no position to navigate me through the storm ahead. Aside from the various fun duties a.k.a., party planning, I get to bide my time with the teeny tiny matter of the dreaded bridesmaids’ dresses. I’m not entirely sure who initially thought that proper wed-iquette dictates that thou shalt dress in Pepto-Bismol-style pastels while skipping down the aisle, but thanks for that. People may confuse me with an Easter peep, but rest assured that pretty pink abomination is yours truly. Saving grace exists in the form of four other girls I get to share this time honored tradition with, so at least I’m not alone. And when I inflict this traditional torture on my fair friends in the future, it will be in black, because once you go black, you never go back.