Archive for May, 2009

Dear Gems from Jen,

I am a successful pediatrician who finds that the men I meet are threatened by my title and success. How do I keep from scaring away men who are eligible? – Malka
 
Dear Malka,
 
My suggestion would be to look at your profile.  Does it talk more about you and your career rather than whom and what you are searching for?  Are you limiting your search to men who are in your same professional sphere?  Are you excluding men who might be great matches, but do not possess the same status or title that you have earned? Do you focus more on your successes and accomplishments rather than who you are? Our job titles do not define us, rather they complement us. I understand that we career women have worked very hard to get where we are, but that is only one aspect of ourselves. What do we stand for?  What makes us happy?  What makes us vulnerable? Who are we minus the career?  What makes us different from the next picture/profile on the list? How are we unique?  What qualities can we offer to a potential relationship? Refine your profile and let the real you shine through.
 
Secondly, men that are scared away by successful woman are lacking in their own self-confidence. It tends to threaten them. There are many eligible bachelors who are attracted to successful, accomplished women.  I just don’t believe you have found him yet.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen

Bette Midler may now be known affectionately as “The Divine Miss M-atchmaker” after advising single actress Jennifer Aniston that she should join 100hookup, according to a recent report in PEOPLE Magazine. Asked whether Aniston should post a profile on an online dating service, Midler said with a laugh, “Oh please, you mean 100hookup? Put her up on 100hookup and see how she does!” We here at 100hookup agree – but is Jennifer Aniston hookup? As far as we know, she is predominantly of Greek ancestry, but her character Rachel Green on Friends, is, in fact, hookup. So Jennifer may not be an official member of the tribe, but she did play one on TV and that counts for something.

Should Jennifer decide to join 100hookup, in addition to making plenty of the guys on 100hookup really excited, she’ll be next in a list of several famous 100hookuprs, including Representative Steve Rothman (D-N.J.), who is a 100hookup success story, and music producer/Britney Spears’ ex, JR Rotem (see his old profile, below)

Did you know that all three members of the Beastie Boys, Michael “Mike D” Diamond (vocals/drums), Adam “Ad-Rock” Horovitz (vocals/guitar) and Adam “MCA” Yauch (vocals/bass), are hookup? So is their D.J. Michael “Mix Master Mike” Schwartz! As unlikely as it may seem, these three hookup kids from Manhattan and Brooklyn were the first rap group to top the Billboard Top 100, and are still headlining artists after a 20-plus-year career. They have also made their mark on the American cultural landscape with their adoption of vintage fashion, kitsch culture, genre-bending musical exploration and social causes.

The Beasties started out as a hardcore punk band in 1979, who later began to frequent hip-hop dance clubs in the early ‘80s when hip-hop began to explode in NYC. After creating a hip-hop track based on a prank phone call, they captured the attention of Def Jam co-founder Rick Rubin. With Rubin, the group would record the landmark rap/rock record Licensed to Ill, which yielded the classics, “Paul Revere,” “Brass Monkey” and the mock anthem, “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right to Party.”

Following the wild success of License to Ill, tempered by its accompanying controversy, the group relocated to Los Angeles, dropped their record label and released the surprisingly smart, funny and sonically-layered Paul’s Boutique in 1989. The record failed to recapture the stunning success of their debut, but over time would be seen as one of the most influential hop-hop records of the era. After the perceived failure of Paul’s Boutique, the group re-acclimated themselves with their instruments and embarked on a two-year jam session that resulted in 1992’s Check Your Head. The album returned to the group Billboard Top 10 on the strength of the single “So What’cha Want” and the record was praised by critics and fans alike for its combination of jazz/funk instrumentals, hip-hop and punk. The group retained the same formula and received even bigger success with the multi-platinum, Ill Communication in 1994 which yielded the hits “Sabotage” and “Sure Shot.”

After a four-year hiatus, the group returned with the spacey #1 album, Hello Nasty, featuring “Intergalactic” and “Body Movin’” and headlined stadium tours highlighted by the prowess of their new D.J., Mix Master Mike. After another long break, in 2004, the group returned to #1 with the all-hip-hop To the 5 Boroughs (“Ch-Check it Out,” “Triple Trouble”) and later released the all-instrumental, Grammy Award-winning, The Mix-Up in 2007. In 2009, the group will headline various music festivals around the globe and are set the release a new record tentatively titled, Tadlock’s Glasses.
Did You Know?

• Ad-Rock is the son off acclaimed playwright Israel Horovitz (Line, Park Your Car in Harvard Yard, The Indian Wants the Bronx).
• In 1985, the Beasties were the opening act on Madonna’s Virgin Tour.
• Mike D’s wife is film director Tamra Davis (Billy Madison, CB4, Half Baked). Watch her make banana nut bread on her online cooking show.

I adore going out dressed in couture, accessorized with stilettos I can barely balance in, and armed with the best gossip as much as any other girl from Los Scandalous. What in the world is a girl to do when sex in this city gets too haute to handle and she finds herself in need of a break from all the Lifetime movie moments? Head out for a night of drinking, debauchery, and endless Guitar Hero with the boys. This little sneak peek into the male psyche is more than enlightening, it’s entertaining as hell! When the gloves come off and the shots go down, it’s completely apparent that when it comes to life, love, and sex, guys and gals are more often than not on the same level. The problem is this little convo of ours involving twisted tales of past sexcapades was only divulged within our less-than-holy trinity. So Judas Priest, the son, and me, being paler than a ghost, sat at our very own last supper of sorts forgetting the gender roles expected of the fair sex and my bff’s best friend – in a manner so becoming of any Guitar Hero – prophesized point blank, that girls are the new guys. I can’t say I disagree. All-American girls from all over the country are transforming the dating game into a truth-or-dare scenario that may very well turn into seven minutes in heaven. But if Daddy’s little angel is hell-bent on messing with your male mind, don’t forget you can walk away too. All’s fair in love and war. So if girls are indeed the new guys and sex is a level playing field, then I suggest both genders see what positions and scenarios work best for them; because horizontal, vertical, from the bottom, or the top, you can only get stabbed in the back. Just depends who submits to whom, and who taps out first. I strongly suggest conditioning in the wonderful world of contact dating. Who knows, maybe Lifetime will look more like FX soon.

Dear Gems from Jen,

I am a bit confused. Before our first date, my date asks me if we are going to dinner. Not wanting to sound cheap, I agree.

We go to a nice restaurant and my date orders three courses.  When I emailed her for another date, I got no response.

The question: Ladies, if you know you are not going to go out with a man again, do you think it is fair to make him pay the entire bill?

Maybe you should offer to split the bill?

I am not cheap, but it makes me feel like a fool…like I was taken advantage of. Makes you not want to ever take a first date out for more than one quick drink.

Your thoughts?

Dear Mark,

It sounds to me like you were taken advantage of on this particular date. If this woman had any manners she would have at least responded, thanked you for a nice dinner, and told you she was not interested.  That would have been common courtesy in my opinion.

My thoughts regarding paying the tab are as follows; I believe whoever makes the invite should be responsible for the bill. In my own experience, I generally offer to pay and always make sure I have enough cash with me to cover, at the very least, my share. A first date isn’t really about the food or drinks; it is about getting to know someone. It is about the experience.

If you are going to feel resentment when paying the entire bill on a first date, then I think it is in your own best interest to invite your date for coffee, appetizers or a drink. Forego the dinner.

I think each woman has her own opinion regarding money and dating. However, I do agree with you. If a woman knows she is not interested in a second date she should not be extravagant or she should pay her own share of the meal.

It sounds to me as if you are lucky that she did not respond to your invitation for a second date.  Would you really want to date someone like this? There are countless women who would feel very fortunate to be treated to a nice dinner. 

Keep up the search and don’t let one bad experience ruin your chances for meeting the one who is right for you.

Signed,

Gems from Jen

As unromantic as it sounds, the Internet has commoditized dating.  And differentiation among profiles and marketing are key components.  But where does marketing cross the line when the truth is no longer the whole truth? Peoples’ own perceptions of themselves aren’t often recognizable in reality.  Pertinent facts are changed, misrepresented or left out.  I have heard numerous stories on this point from BOTH genders.  It seems the most common form comes in putting up a fake or old picture, changing one’s age and height.  Does he/she really not think we will notice the difference between 5’11 and 5’7 or size two and ten?  Is this a crime?  If the initial introduction starts out with misrepresentations, is everything after it doomed?

Everyone seems to have their own distinct opinion on this matter.  If one meets serendipitously, it seems the check boxes are more forgiving.  It no longer matters as much that the cutie is divorced with kids.  However, when utilizing an online dating system, there needs to be some criteria.  I have waivered and have heard the views of both genders. Even though I “get” marketing and online relationships can feel commoditized until an in-person connection is formed, ultimately, relationships are about human connections and trust.  And once violated, this is hard to regain in any circumstance.  I’m not an advocate of lying, but I think I fall on the fence.  If you feel you must be less than 100% honest (hiding the fact that you are separated, altering your age or height) in the search criteria, this relevant information must be revealed somewhere in your actual profile or in your initial email/conversation. If the person you are communicating with hasn’t taken the time to read your profile, who are you to be blamed for not telling the whole truth?  And if such criteria are set in stone – why would you want to be with someone so narrow minded.  The truth, the whole truth, seems like the way to go.

The dating scene in uber sunny So Cal is great for a million different reasons, namely the variety of options it offers its chic inhabitants when it comes to courting. This week, I suggest taking a break from those haute Hollywood nights and heading over the canyon and straight to the beach! Just because this swine flu sitch has utterly cramped my would-be sun-soaked Cancun extravaganza, does not mean it will keep me from enjoying a little fun in the sun. Come hell or high water, I am getting a tan this summer and I am trading in my porcelain persona for a not exactly redder is better type deal, thanks to industrial strength SPF. One of my fave parts about California is our thousands of hideaway beaches begging locals only to come and bask in the often too strong but oh-so-tempting UVA. Just make sure you and your date, or friends, stock up on the post excursion aloe, because getting high on sun stroke is a less then likely way to score a second date with your little beach bunny. See you at…well, I’m not giving away my favorite place to frequent, so find your own! I do promise a beachy-keen time, where the people watching alone is incentive enough- of course, that holds true for almost every Los Angeles locale.

Hi GemsfromJen ~
 
I am a single hookup man in my early 40’s, and I have a question for you.
 
How will I know when I have finally met the one person meant for me?
 
I have dated many women, been married once, continue to date, and I have met some very interesting and nice women, but there always seems to be something missing.
 
When will I know, I mean truly know that I have finally met the girl for me? Will skyrockets go off in my head like in the movies, will there be a joy I feel with her like I have never felt before, will it be in the way we kiss or make love, will it be an overwhelming feeling of devotion, or will it just be a click and I will know she is the one? And what if I feel she’s the one but she feels I am NOT the one?
 
Maybe for everyone it is a little different, but I was hoping you could maybe give me a little heads-up on what to look for.
 
Thank you Jen, I really appreciate the service you provide. Keep up the good work for us 100hookuprs!
 
Rod
 
Dear Rod,
 
I have had this question presented to me more times than I can count. I have two very direct and to the point answers for you. You will know she is the one when you close your eyes and can imagine her sitting with you when you are both old and gray. You will know when you can’t envision any aspect of your life without her. The good, the bad and the ugly. It’s really that simple. 
 
For the second part of your question, if she feels you are not the one and you believe she is, you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that she is not the one. Relationships are  two way streets and both of you need to be traveling on the same highway, or the relationship will not be successful.
 
I hope this helps you in your search!
 
Signed,
Gems from Jen

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Did you know that the fictional character Krusty the Clown from The Simpsons is, in fact, hookup? Like many famous hookup entertainers, Krusty changed his birth name from Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski and is the son of Rabbi Hyman Krusofski. Krusty is the long-time host of Bart and Lisa’s favorite TV show, The Krusty the Clown Show, which is a combination of kiddie variety television hi-jinks and cartoons including The Itchy & Scratchy Show. Krusty is often portrayed as a burnt-out, addiction-riddled smoker, who is made miserable by show business but continues on anyway. He has become one of the most featured characters outside of the Simpson family and has been the focus of several episodes. In the 3rd season of The Simpsons, Krusty starred in a famous episode entitled, Like Father, Like Clown, which was a parody of The Jazz Singer. In this episode, we learn that Krusty’s father, Rabbi Hyman Krustofski (voiced by Jackie Mason), strongly opposed Krusty’s wish to become a clown and make people laugh, wanting the boy to go to yeshiva (rabbinical school) instead.

However, Krusty performed slapstick comedy behind his father’s back and when Rabbi Krustofski found out, he disowned his son, and didn’t speak to him for 25 years. Krusty later reconciled with his father with the assistance of Bart and Lisa. It was later revealed that Krusty did not have a Bar Mitzvah service, because Hyman feared he would violate the sanctity of the rites by “acting up.” Krusty had two adult Bar Mitzvah ceremonies: a Hollywood gala, and then a simple ceremony intended to reconnect with his father.

In 2003, Krusty was included in a special history of hookup entertainers’ exhibit at the hookup Museum in New York City.